BlockHead

Suddenly feel overwhelmed with the countless things on hand to settle.

:(

Dental yesterday was somehow amusing, so I got my tooth filled and teeth scaled.

Now my upper retainers don't fit right and my teeth are allll aaaccchhhinnnggg :(

Andddd I didn't get any electives this sem so I gotta fight with the crowd during Add/Drop, which, I won't be available cos it's Ivpeee! :(

But anyhooooo, please remind me:

Year 2 (all programmes)

Mon, 5 Jan 2009 (4.00 pm – 6.45 pm)

Tues, 6 Jan 2009 – Sun, 18 Jan 2009 (10.00 am - 10.00 pm)

----------------

Grr! :(

And I shifted out of TWO already. Gonna miss the huge ass Single Room and its convenience. :( Not forgetting the really sweet toilety mate.

Glad Tidings.

Caught the MONSTER flu bug, it's soooo bad it leaks uncontrollably. :(

And now I've abrasions at the sides of my nose from the blowing and wiping.

Can barely sleep well the past two nights cos it's so uncomfortable :(

Was literally dying with my tissue box in the graveyard style Nightmare-before-Christmas tissue holder next to me and a small dustbin next to it.

My bed is a germ-zone.

-------

Results came out earlier today (while I was trying to sleep in bed), and praise the Lord for his abundant blessings! :D

It was definitely better than expected!

Now, all I need to focus on is getting well before IV.P!!!

Empty Conversations.

Repetition makes an impression,

but monotony is mundane.

Yet, we as human, are accustomed to our routines.

Or a certain set of procedure to get through the days.

A break from monotony may be like a short holiday after the school term,

yet it may not always be ideal.

My life is the biggest irony; one day I'm complaining about the monotony,

and today I sit here, uncomfortable about breaking away from my weekly routine.

But this is life, isn't it? That we are human, and can never be sufficiently satisfied.

Something you want, will no longer be of that similar importance once it's yours.

And to a certain degree, we all take each other for granted.

There is no such thing as, "let me be your pillar of strength",

because if you were to be, then where do you draw yours from.

Feeling so sick I skipped Youth training today.

Shall sleep this negative feeling away. (Not before I visit the T.opshop warehouse sale! :D Nothing beats retail therapy, yo!)

PS: I am not materialistic and I don't need you to spend to make it up to me. 

4 days to 2009.

Hello to High and Dry.

You know how there's this odd woozy feeling everytime you're sick?

Where day feels like night, and night feels like ... night (too)?

Yeah, I'm having that odd feeling now.

The throat's been awfully uncomfortable since I woke up yesterday, and it still is.

Argh, of all time. Ivpee in 6 days. >=(

Anyhow, made a trip down to Queensway ystday and picked up Team Shirts since I was there.

Had dingtaifung's porkchop fried rice packed with a secret XLB (and love!) for lunch, thankyou(: It was very sweet of you.

Then, because of the throat, we had Porridge buffet at Quality H.otel after training. And no movie timings again.

PS: Paying for NZ is a big headache. :(

PPS: Four days left in TWO before going back to THIRTEEN. Bittersweet, but it may just be for the better.

You are the Reason for the Season.

Really lazy to upload pictures,

and I realised I took ZERO pictures this Christmas :(

Caught Twilight on Friday with S and the Sonny after dinner at HotpotCulture (we ate til we couldn't walk).

Saturday; we went for Social touch, which turned out to be an hour of training first. :| Gift exchange shopped thereafter(:

Sunday; youth training as always. Then an impromptu team lunch (about six of us only though) at Al.ameen. Then I fell asleep after showering when we were supposed to go.. shopping (?).

Monday; friendly with the SPee boys. Then IS, which we already missed. Had lunch over video session then gift exchange! :D Then Team BBQ which went pretty well... 

Only problem: I stupidly left the mashmellows by my window (with the blinds up) so they were melted already :( Haha, dumb.

Then S popped by with some Dark Cherry Mocha from Starbucks while we were cleaining up :D

Tuesday; watched the finals of IS in the rain/sun , and a teeny bit of IH Badminton. (: Lunched with G my favourite bxtch/slxt (haha internal joke) before leaving for youth friendly, which sucked so much (refer to Do or Die, Swim or Sink). Omg, everything was so bad except for Laoda giving us each a Mars bar, and my self proclaimed fan club coming down to support me. (XOXOXOXO!) Oh, and of course dinner together. (:

Wednesday; heavy rain = no training. WHEEHEE. So we left for town for more shopping. Soup spooned. Attended mass for the second time in my entire life, then crashed some party (and saw Ronald.Susilo but no big deal, really).

Thursday; Christmas Service in the morning! Indian food for lunch with Penguin and the boysssss. (where I accidentally mistook a Man who wanted to dine as one of the waitors. BOO!) Wanted to catch a movie but no more slots so we headed to Minds, and spent TWO whole freaking hours playing Saboteur. Omg. Hahaha. 

I still feel undigested, and the email about the NZ trip left an awfully awkward bittersweet feeling. It wasn't excitement, but more of uncertainty. It almost felt as though I didn't wanna go. :(

Sorry for the mindless entry, I am feeling really lazy.

PS: Happy Blessed Christmas. (:

Merry, Merry.

Thank God for the rain (though it freaking soaked my laundry, boohoohooo)

cos training is cancelled and we get to SLEEP IN!

So damn tired I am going back to bed after this post.

Though it's Christmas eve and we should be partying but I'm still so tired I can sleepwalk.

(Like  every other day. Hahahaha)

Do Or Die, Swim Or Sink.

For the first time in my Touch Career,

I (daringly) threw a freaking tantrum in the midst of the game and removed myself from play/pitch for a while.

Whoa, Phil. You're going insane.

Swooning.

Chuck Bass

&

Edward Cullen

=

the sex.

The Future Scares Me.

Before you even know it, we are already past Mid-dec! :(

6 days to Christmas; that's less than a week.

That means....

14 days to Iv.p,

17 days to restart of school,

and 27 days to NZNZNZNZ.

EVERYTHING IS LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY.

And for a some peculiar reason, I feel extremely nostalgic tonight.

(No it's different from being emotional)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!

Wheehee!

Virtual postcard from Switz from the Bestie.

LOTSAAA LOVE AND COME BACK SOON!

Let's Play Pretend.

pretend that nothing happened,

as always.

"Do You Wanna Be A Quitter? Or Someone Who Stays"

One week ago,

Tuesday; we had pizza and macdonalds and htht after training til two in the morning,

with our shorts and underwear soaked from icedips. Then we lugged the huge green bin back all the way from CanA.

Wednesday; Yanyi crashed IS training (it was fun though!), then we starved while waiting for the Bff and Spacemedic0016 (haha) and had lunch at 3. Then my stomach/digestive system threw a tantrum (diarrhoea) and the rest of the body screamed for rest. Decided to give training a miss (despite the coin flipping's decision to not skip) and slept. Woke up with a fever and found myself in deep shit. But then again, I didn't quite care.

Thursday; 

the cousins/aunts were back from cruiseee. Shopped a little in town before the friendly (omg the blue top from topshopt and black top from fcuk :( ) Played a pretty awesome + fun game with the boys down at Rpeeee.

Cabbed down with wet shorts/underwear/shirt/skins (totally freezing!) to Laopasat and had only chicken wings and squid for dinner. =( Then headed back to Ritz for the rest of the night and baby-fashion-show-watched til we felt sleepy and Shanniee stayed over! :D

Friday; woke up to Macs, headed down to Full.erton, then more shopping, more babysitting, more Macs and lotsa Starbucks. S came later with a surprise (skins!!) and he took over the babysitting (or baby carrying in this sense). And we bumped into lotsa people: "secret daughters?".

Haha. Had some Mega Seafood Feast for dinner but it wasn't as yummy as it looked. PSP-ed like mad the whole night with lotsa A.pe Academy challenging. Then we said our final goodbyes(:

Saturday; slept in, caught S's game (awesome game!), tossed in bed til late :\

Sunday; wet, wet, wet, cold. Prayed for rain, and training to be cancelled. Got the first, didn't get the second. Boohoo =(

Then I watched Love Actually til I couldn't stop crying (haha)

-----------

This week,

Monday; caught the Bestie for breakf before she left for Europeeee, that lucky girl. I love you, Seeef! :D Then met Pong, and we ate til we popped (though we shared a meal and didn't intend to binge at all). Then, the very screwed up friendly.

Then D, as usual, ohsonicely cabbed down to check up on me(: And we did what we used to always do, but haven't done in a really long time. ;) Thanks for everything, as always, Love.

I love you, Ding! :D

Tuesday; CP meeting at Starbucks. We're almost done, and I hope we don't need to meet on Thurs anymore :D Caught the very last quarter of Basketball IH, then trained with a new area taped up.

"That's new. What happened?"

"Uh, I don't know, It just hurts."

--

Coach and I had a very good talk after training, together with J and A.

"It is just how much you want it."

She gave me the green light to make my own decision and assured me not to think/worry too much.

But I am still indecisive.

We ordered Macs (again :( ) to Fifteen and ate at the lounge, with aircon (hence freezing with our shorts &underwear wet again..), television, and a mini htht.

When you can't find strength from within, you draw it from others.

"It's only three more weeks, Phil."

+

Love Actually.

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE YO!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

THANKEWBERYMUCHIE! I LOVE YOU!

Life Is NEVER Fair.

Grown ups amuse me sometimes,

with all that talk about maturity, sensibility.

I think it's all bull shit.

We are only human, and we are all the same.

It's been quite a while since I last felt this way,

it's no stranger, but more than familiar.

It's like a repetition, a reminder.

It is a norm, to always do things we like,

things we enjoy,

hence giving us the additional motivation, the additional drive.

With passion, it's a step closer to excellence.

But when passion gets twisted with something else,

it takes you one step further.

I know I'm being semi childish, semi spiteful,

but with unappreciation and the feeling of being disposable,

why would you act on something?

What's worse, you dread it.

You FUCKING dread it.

If we're so dispensable, go ahead and act on what was said.

Maybe it doesn't matter as much as it did initially,

maybe it is not something I strived for initially,

maybe along the way, I lost sight of the vision I wanted to head towards.

She told me, "the road is tough, but don't give up!"

It is not an unlit cave where we are treading dangerous paths, nor where the end is blinded.

It is merely a treacherous route, two routes to take til you reach the end.

And almost always, it is these situations that leave us rooted, afraid to take the next step.

This is where, I lose focus of what I want.

Where I stumble and fall, yet have to pick myself up.

I do not have 500% to give every week.

----------------------------

When I heard loud knocks on my door this morning,

I knew nothing good would come out from the rest of the day.

And I'm sick for real, 

fucking believe it or not.

Leave The Lights On For Me.

Training today was intense,

post-training was INSANE.

Just got back and showered,

absolutely tired, and need to be up in another 6 hours.

But we had alot alot of fun.

A little too much but this is what keeps us going, player/la la dui/team manager.

Ps: New I.vp fixtures! Good news: we have a day break. Bad news: We start earlier.

Sucks.

Sweet And Low.

Absence makes the heart fonder.

Last week felt much more like Holidays for real,

despite rushing from place to place quite a bit,

it was sufficiently filled with post-exam to dos: 

Movies (Four Christmases, Bolt), satisfying cravings (Soup spoon, Chompchomp!), 

catch ups, supper, (window) shopping, birthday (Sk's 22nd at Mac).

Unfortunately, more touch and trainings than anything.

School trainings, Youth trainings, Friendlies, Fitness test(s).

One more month.

My legs are becoming big til my skins feel like they're gonna tear. ):

A typical Sunday;

A pint of ice cream and movies on the lappy/teevee, and lazing around.

Apple pie from Is.landCreamery((((:

And Monday, preoccupied with Puzzle Fight.er, more movies, more lazing around.

Another week of trainings/friendlies but there's my S.s to look forward to. Sarah Sherilyn Shan. ((((((((((((:

But of course, that's if all else doesn't fail.

All good things come to an end.

The Battle With The Internal Struggle.

Today, I

• got a new wallet! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee
• got S a new wallet! Wheeeeeeeeeee (but my mommy paid for both)
• cut my hair! 
• dyed my hair!
• got a new retainers case!
• was praised for being dilligent with my retainers
• was told I can stop wearing my retainers 24hours daily
• sucked at training :(
• had Ichi.ban again after training
• am alone with hall while everyone else is in Malaysia/home/camp. :(
• am happy but I miss S. :(

The Last Goodnight

I built us this boat so we both could sail far, far away
It sprung a leak inside the captain forgot to say
"That love is made of treading water and hearts of clay"
I had no idea, I had no idea, that we would die today

I will fall asleep here in your arms
Every breath that you take breaks my heart

Twist In My Story.

Post exams haven't been as exciting as I'd have thought they'd be.
Then again, it has been a little bit more unexpected than I had imagined it to.

Basically had a Fucked up Friday (no more Freaky Friday curses though),
blood stained (not literally) and tear stained.
Suddenly felt like I was in a different world, with friends who are strangers,
and people putting on a facade. Felt scared, (and maybe threatened), deceived, betrayed.
It's horrible and I'm still not over it.

Training was so bad (for me), I was effectively the weakest link. And we had a Fitness Test. Terrible, just so bad.
And I concluded I've a retarded left hand. :(

Then we rushed down to Tim.bre where I had almost an entire glass of Er.dinger spilled across the table, drenching myself and my phone.

By the time I reached home, I was dead beat but I couldn't sleep so I made D talk to me. =(


Youth Fundraising tourney on Sat! Teams pulled out last minute and the sun was super hot now I'm burnt (even with the application of Sunblock)
Played and ref-ed consecutive games. Even played the novelty games. (Ok, but the 3v3 drop off was fun!!!) I'm super tired from the consecutive trainings/games that I wore my skins to sleep. HA HA HA.
And the abrasions from the incorrect diving are insanely painful (not forgetting fugly).
BUT, if any consolation, for the first time I tried to dive touch! (Then again, I touched her after she placed the ball down)

(Oh ya and I forgot to bring socks. Argh.)


Thank goodness training today is optional so I'm spared the extra agility/fitness work and get a break before another 4 consecutive days of training.

But this is all in preparation for the coming month.
And I'm gonna need icedips forever. HAHAHA


Happy holidays! Don't forget subject registration on 5th dec.
XOXO

Me.

Was supposed to fill up a players' profile last night,

but was too lazy to do it myself.

So I got D to do it,

and this is the funniest part:

SOME THING WE DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU: RETAINERS, I am extraordinary. I don’t play mahjong, I love sponge bob? I cant see if u are waving at me from a distance cause I don’t usually wear a spec.

HAHAHAHA.

Jp for dinner after training. Suuuushiiii! :D

We stayed til closing until a cockroach chased us out. :S

And I almost died during training last night.

Hope I won't later.

(:

FINALLY

Officially stepping down as a student,

and resuming my position as a full time touch player.

Here's to a month of lotsa grass, mud, girls, and odd shaped balls.

Happy holidays!

FOUR MORE HOURS.

CANNOT WAIT. :D

FOURTEEN HOURS.

Missed the finals, couldn't even go down to watch.

And apparently there was dramamamama. (Plus a very exciting sudden death)

PS: We lost, btw. :(

Dinner was funfunfun(: We got so carried away, we forgot the time.

Whooops.

Anyhow, I can finally change my desktop wall paper tmr! (:

And finally catch up on Heroes/GG and watch Madagascar with Skalex the Lion. (:

PS: No deeveecee next week. :( No kids. :( No camp. :( No mooolah. :( :(

TWENTY FOUR HOURS.

Not going to play.

Not permitting myself to play.

Talked to A and W and even flipped a coin.

Same conclusion,

Shouldn't doubt my initial decision to start with.

.

.

.

.

How do you look me in the eye,

and tell me you're the same.

I feel disposable.

TWENTY EIGHT MORE HOURS.

This morning I woke up to the Bestie freaking out on MSN,

awake at 6AM.

Hang in there Seef!! It will all be over, it's just one more week! Sends my hug from Boonlay ok!

-----------------------

One more day one more day!!!!!!!!

Last night seemed deliberately planned.

I had phone call after phone call that lasted for hours.

I didn't study much, but it's ok. That gives me a reason to be more productive today (if I can find my discipline and focus cos I'm really REALLY restless)

And a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors over the phone concluded my absence from tonight's N.tl finals.

Otherwise I'd be cursed with a bigger butt cheek than the other (!!!!! HORROR)

But anyway, I think they'd win.. ((:

Your Eyes.

They say our eyes are the window to our soul.......

.

.

.

.

.

.

I haven't studied since the previous post, I'm basically screwing myself up. =(

No NTL finals at this rate.

Naughty Phil.

Sweeeeet.

"Smells like Ice Lemon Tea."

"Huh! Give me back, I want to smell."

----

"Oh, it's the perfume la."

"Hmm, it smells like Ice Lemon Tea!"

I'm so restless I think I'm gonna play NTL Finals tmr. 

*

This is where we both get scared
This is where emotion flares
This is where we both prepare

The Wrong Pair Of Lock And Key.

Walking back to hall past midnight could be scary,

with the darkness, the cold air, and the solitary,

but there's always something to take that away.

And it's company.

"you're extraordinary."

Hahahahahaha.

Bedtime after showering cos Philoos is having gastric, because she skipped dinner.

Hr, if you see this. Fatty fatty hugs, you will pull through.

Cos we all love you.

Touchtouchtouch.

With that said,

please pick your post exam dates accordingly! :D

(Ntouch) TRAINING DATES

Nov 27 & 28

Dec 1, 2 (mental skills), 3, 4, 9 (PESS), 11, 10 (Friendly with S.as, 7pm), 15, 16 (PESS), 17 (PESS), 18 (NUS boys friendly), 22 (morning), 24 (morning)

Plus every Wed night/ Sun morning is out for Youth training too.

Boohoo, train my life away.

Almost There.

I always believed in working for what we want.

Simple: You want good grades, you work hard towards it.

If you've failed to be a part of a process, you don't deserve to be in the result.

If you barely contributed to a project, you don't deserve the grades.

If you barely helped someone in time of need, you don't deserve theirs in your time of need.

If you were barely there during the exam-period, you don't deserve post-exam time.

Am I making sense?

-------------------------------

Second last paper today,

2 and a half days of insane cramming for the last module (which I trulymadlydeeply abhor).

And just a few hours short of 100 to freedom.

I can already smell it.

heureux

you aNd i,

we're made for Each other.

jUst like how the pieces of jigsaw,

Fit perfectly together.

---

mois.

~everything in monochrome.

URGH

Verbal vomit.

Tomorrow will just be the case of verbal vomit.

And I hope I vomit the right things to the right question.

BRAIN CRAMP, SERIOUSLY. =(

The Damage Gives You Hell

Sunburnt, Hurting left leg (after getting knee-ed),

A little less flabby, headache,

Aching, superdupertired.

A morning/early afternoon in the sun and I'm back to black. (Well, somewhat.)

And omfg, my second platypus burst!

All thanks to Al. Boo, I hate you for now. >=(

I barely studied today. Forget about playing N.tl finals =(

PS: Omg, mac for dinner again. It is satanic.

----------------

Yesterday:

A last minute decision to head home was changed, 

Lamian XLB at JayPee for dinner, and ice cream, ice cream! :D

THEY ARE OPENING A STARBUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FINALLY! Something to love about the West. :D

I know I should quit whining.

d to the i to the s to the a to the p-p-o-i-n-t-e-d.

to the highest degree.

why so stupid! boo. =(

i am dreading sunday and subsequently monday.

boohoohoooo.

i am craving for soup spoon but it's never gonna be satisfied.

just when i thought it could. how! someone buy it back to school for me. =(

+

Ever had brain cramp?

I think I'm having brain cramp. =(

Word of wisdom/ 211108: Do not listen to The Used while studying. You end up with your own rock party.

I want to be done with exams too, I don't want to study anymore =(

This exam period feels so long.

And before I am even over with this semester, I already know the dates of my examinations next Sem. 15-30th April 2009. Whatever it is, THANK GOD FOR NO DOUBLE PAPERS!

No more MC, I promise!!

January 2009.

OHAMGEE! Iveepee fixtures are OUT!

Give Me Something.

I wanted to go to bed, to avoid the disappointment.

I even drew out something, I had wanted to send.

But I decided to wait.

Like you always told me, "have faith", be hopeful.

But I guess it's just another mistake.

I have defeated my purpose of battling the fatigue.

I, am the real fool.

But of course, "there's nothing to be upset about."

Do not worry, for I am not.

Goodnight, and here's to a better sleep than the one I had before.

Losing My Way.

Today I learnt a new equation:

. + , = ;

Happily ever after. Hurhurhur.

"Where Is Your Humour?"

a lover's alibi says :
im waiting for my teammates

they coming soon
bernnaard. love story. says :
i see

wad kind of movie is that?

a lover's alibi says :
??????????????????????????

bernnaard. love story. says :
hahah
normally only movie put coming soon ma
lol

a lover's alibi says :
HURHUR HUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Pemo, don't emo!"

I fucked my paper so so soo sooooo bad today, I cannot even explain the extent of how bad I fucked it up.

Didn't finish and basically just didn't know how to do.

And even my answer to the easiest question is wrong wrong wrong! Sigh.

And W had to offer the best encouragement ever,

"If you know how to do 2b and 3 then ok. If you don't know then die alr."

ARGH.

Anyhow, I came back to this:

Can't really see but it's already uploaded so I'm lazy to delete it.

(My mom added me on Facebook)

Say something against me but do it yourself to me.

Everyday With Every Word, We Get So Far Away.

It's almost like we're back to these days. Half a sem ago, it was Computing, etc which we thought were tough enough.

This sem, the attack of the modules is wayyy worse. =(

Yes, year 2 is shit tough, and I am not looking forward to Sem2 :( 

(Can't wait for 27th Nov though! HEEHEE)

Oh yeah and omg, we got distracted with Facewarp today!!!!

Anyhow, we ended up confusing each other, (more of W confusing me actually),

and I wrote so much til my fingers and hand hurts so bad now..... =(

On the other hand, once tomorrow comes, the rest of the exam period will fly by! (:

PS: Need. to. do. my. Powerstep! >=(

PPS: Will not care so much anymore. =]

If The Choice Was Ours Alone.

Yesterday over revision,
we digressed from studies to touch,
and got distracted.
=(

---------


Seems like We've lost it. All.

Doesn't Mean That We're Not Falling Just Cos We Haven't Hit The Ground

Guess what I got today?

(plus a box of Strawberry Meltykisses! :D )

What's more exciting is what I gave in exchange .....

[Edit]

Hahaha. (:

Severed Hearts.

Because G says my blog has no pictures.

(:

Black Forest from Purple Rose!

Some random day I found my giraffe looking at me like that.

Gummies gummies! :DWe don't have this in Sg right? It beats Party Animals hands down. Muahaha. I finished it in one night. (And got scolded for being selfish ha ha ha )

The Spongebob lanyard! :D

PS: Have I told you about my Havais jelly that makes me want to eat them too? :D

Your Own Disaster.

"Stop touching so much"

**

I'm so so so excited for the post exams but the process towards the end is going to be a horrible horrible one. I always find myself in a position of a complete lack of motivation and total disregard to the importance of the excellence in this meritocratic world. (Recall J2 years)

Shit aside, been having a pretty awesome weekend so far. Though not as study-intensive as I'd thought or liked it to be, but in the time span of 2, 3 days, I can safely say.. I've made up for the months of absence. ((((:

And we also learnt that Six degrees of separation was more than enough to connect people together. Sometimes, we just need TWO.

And I've also realised that I lost my boundaries. Or maybe I never really had them.

No one ever set the rules to distinguish black and white, identify truth from wrong.

It has been about perception all along.

Nobody taught us the definitions, we learnt from observations, from understandings, from experience.

There's a fine line between Love and Hate,

And I have misplaced it. (Maybe once again)

------------------------------

PS: Omg, my daddy just gave me a spongebob lanyard! :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZIPOK! =D

This Morning,

I woke up and I couldn't find you.

To Write Love On Her Arms.

(Click.)

=

3 words, 8 letters: Iloveyou.

Ihateyou.

Convince Me.

The room smells sour.

Not sure if it's the result of our body scent mixed,

or if it represents the lingering memory of you/us.

Or if it simply is just my emotions transformed.

Maybe because the sense of smell will do me better than that of touch.

;

So she was right,

when she said it was just habitual. They have just been so used to having each other around that the thought of losing the other scares them.

But this may not necessarily represent Love.

Where do you draw the line, then?

Find Your Own Space, Find Your Own Pace.

I've recently found a new form of destress; biting S. Do away with your stress balls, and paper crushing/ripped, biting someone really helps.

Training today:
Almost everyone came in colour codes; Red & White.
Hence we had a black sheep, aka Ek. (:
EK: "I thought maybe we celebrating some Touch Independence Day."
And 60% of us were in the EXACT SAME shirt. Coolio molio.
Plus we had baby dinosaurs for carbo reloading today :D


---------------------------------------

Independence.
To me, it's not a choice to be made, but rather something that needs to be driven.
Just like flying. It's not something that can be done just because you decide to, but it has to be driven, in this case, taught.

Likewise, Independence is driven. Parents who want their child (once again, it is not a decision made by the child himself) to be independent drive them into becoming so. Doing their own laundry, washing their own dishes, even the simple travelling to school on their own.

No matter how determined you are, a driving force is still needed for the completion of that decision. And Independence is one example.
I'm not pointing fingers, just illustrating that this is a reflection of more than the individual herself.

---------------------------------

50:27, a long phonecall with the (ex)roomie

Be Still, My Heart.

When we forget the little things,
could it be that we've taken things for granted?

Or are we taking things for granted,
hence forgetting the little things?

.
.
.
.
.

Good night.

Like A Punctuation Pt.

Saturday was awesome, though damn tired would be an understatement. I guess I can say it was fulfilling.
We got on the field, a week later, with the same familiar faces, but with a different heart.
We were ready, and we knew the results wouldn't matter.

With awesome hard runs and an exclusive touch down, we played our hearts out, ran til we couldn't breathe, but we had fun. Somehow, without winning in mind but the determination and discipline still securely in place, a different sort of game plan surfaces. Maybe a little less hungry for scores, but still awesome. It's been a long time I ran this hard, and had my 1 litre platypus dry. =)

Was asked for a favour after the game, and somehow felt obliged to assist. With that little bit of energy left, I reffed another 40 minute game immediately after mine. =( Tired shiate, but it was somehow something honourable.

Went home black, burnt, and burnt-out so I slept the midafternoon away again, before dinner at Novena with the Sister and S.
ManU/Arsenal was, on the contrary, a disappointment to a fulfilling Saturday.
But an early night wrapped it up anyhow.

Friday;
after a half an hour tutorial, an hour brunch break with Calamari rings that made my tongue feel funny the whole day, we left for HollandV. Treated ourselves with Purple Rose's cake (indulgence! :D) and popped by a party shop for a Helium Balloon before leaving for Aranda.

So surreal; I remembered Birthdays, and Post O levels. Time passed with Space Chimps, catching ups, people watching (familiar faces, haha), closet maternal instincts, and eventually, multiple strolls along beautiful Down.town East (it has changed soo much!) and a trip to the arcade. Felt so much like the after-exams. =(


-----------------------

Now, it's the exam week, exam period.
27th November, 3pm. COME SOOOON.
I Can't Wait For The Holidays Esp CHRISTMAS! :D


PS: OH! The apricotjelly Ha.vaianas are back! They look a little pink though, but chewy and they make me wanna eat them :D Can't wait for the metal ones to be backkk! :D

Less Yet More.

He who is big, yet soft.
He who is strong, yet weak.

He who carries the weight of the world upon his shoulders.
He who always thrusts his two arms wide open.
Not to receive, but to give.

He who never completes his sentence lately,

He whose words hang loose at the tip of his tongue.
He who knows guesses every word you don't speak,
but hides each he doesn't.

*

" Your freezing speech bubbles
Seem to hold your words aloft
I want the smoky clouds of laughter
To swim about me forever more "

It's all for you.

--------------------------

Happy Birthday! But You Weren't There.

Today, we studied til the sun shades were lowered and risen again.

Today, we; like ants among human, gymed until we ache.

Today, we made plans to celebrate a birthday but the lead didn't turn up.

Today, she told me to suck it up, and get through it. Because I won't regret it.

Today, we let our hair loose and danced to music we didn't understand and beats we couldn't catch.

"It's all about the rhythm", she says.

Today, we hung our dirty laundry in the public.

Well then again, not really.

Today, we allowed our imagination to take us beyond two simple words, "Banana Marathon".

Today, you asked if I love you less.

Crack The Shutters.

You cool your bedwarm hands down
on the broken radiator

And when you lay them freezing on me
I mumble can you wake me later

But I don't really want you to stop
And you know it so it doesn't stop you

You run your hands from my neck
To my chest

Crack the shutters open wide
I want to bathe you in the light of day

And just watch you as the rays
Tangle up around your face and body

I could sit for hours
Finding new ways to be awed each minute

Cause the daylight seems to want you
Just as much as I want you

It's been minutes it's been days
It's been all I will remember

Happy lost in your hair
And the cold side of the pillow

Your hills and valleys
Are mapped by my intrepid fingers

And in a naked slumber
I dream all this again

""

"with you i always feel like i have to be something u choose , like its always some competition"

Tonight, we drink to Youth.

potlickticks

Another module kissed goodbye with my last report for the term submitted just now..

Slowly, a 5-day week becomes 2-day;

the time during lessons we used to think crawl now sprints,

your shorts feel a little tighter around the waist area.....

Yeah, you know what it means.

Finally, the sense of urgency fills you like that of a dripping tap to an empty water bottle; the process slow and tedious, but as you reach the top, it quickens. 

--------------------------

Poor S popped his shoulder today, and played his heart for, what he feels, might be nothing. =(

I hope good news comes along soon to prove him (maybe us,) wrong.

PS: Still craving for something salty, like really salty.

I Smell Like You.

Finally today, we could throw the notes, rip our cue cards, and sell our HWtwo-one-oh textbooks.

With our oral presentation, we have wrapped up this non-examinable-yet-still-took-up-shitload-of-time-2au-module.

We were pleased when we saw the grade(s) and positive comments on the cover of our Final Report, congratulating one another for breaking free from the Cplus grade the previous semester. Yet, our grades were only mediocre. Ultimately, I guess mediocre beats falling short of expectations anytime, right?

---------------------

Had my first campus run tonight. Felt like I spent more time/energy talking but my legs are aching and I hope it's a good thing. =)

Hello November.

This photo is super hilarious ((((:

But for now, I am going to take a nap. (Have a hunch I'd sleep til dinner time though)

No explanation for the fatigue. Maybe it's just the sleep-conducive weather.

I hate November.

Is This How We .....

I don't want to know.
Really. ='(

Examples of Conversations You Should Not Be Involved In.

jL:
maybe zhen ren look better?
p:
whos zhenren
jL:
as in real person =)
p:
oh
p:
OHH
p:
HAHHAHAHAHHAA

----------------


"haha better make sure it's 10pm hor pls"

"you just wait patiently in your room laaaa. Hahahahaaa. We will come. =)"

"ok that seriously sound like a whore.."


----------------


Today, over dinner, we taught the juniors our TINGTINGTING! =)

----

"you'd still be my favourite girl. "


Maybe when I wake up, it'd all be expired emotions to be thrown out the door.
Wait, what emotions?

Drama-mation

Can't quite find the right word on how I feel right now. Paradoxical, maybe?

As learnt from elective, I probably just don't have the right cognitive maps to piece the little strings of information together to see a picture, a future, and the differences it will make.

Am probably not quite ready yet for these changes,

because I know they will be drastic ones.

Snow Patrol's new album is therapyyyyy.

Any Other But Her.

A pictorial representation of many things.

Guess what they are. =)

A dramamamamama night today.

So. Damn. Tired.

Don't Forget.

TNC gummies from Aussie when Sis came back last night,
together with a new pair of Havais. :D
Can't wait for the sem to be over and concentrate solely on touch.
It's been fucked up and can't wait to start a brand new sem right.



PS: Made new specs on Friday! :D

----

You wrap your thoughts in works of art 
And they're hanging on the walls of my heart.

One Day.

Similar to how another door opens when one shuts,

when one depletes, another grows.

Maybe one day, you will just ....

love me less.

Sigh, You.

mygoodhurt, said:
YOU ARE A SLUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
mygoodhurt, said:
HAHAHAA
dont wanna try says:
ya i noe im a slut
dont wanna try says:
hah sorry

OGAY. But I still love youuu.

Colourshades

This is what I did the whole of yesterday afternoon:

J says: "Humpty Dumpty from Adams family???"

In my defence, it was the only Humpty Dumpty I could find that was sitting down initially.

Then I found a really cute one and decided we should have a colouring exercise:

J is so creative with her blackie Humpty.

Tried to fit it into a wheelchair but nah, doesn't look good.

So we embarked on another colouring exercise. (This one was tough!)

Since it was just gonna be for fun, decided to give mine some bling bling. Haha

A refined version of J's Humpty.

And the finalised one! Yay! After the whole afternoon. =(

Home For A Day

Weekend:

Trained bright and early on Saturday morning. We were "promise(d) that this session will not inclue shuttles/suicides of TOKs" but we did agility fitnesss! =(

Giant shopped, brunched, got upset over the thought of losing my 22$, but eventually found out A took it. And she used it to buy 5 bottles of Po.cari sweat, of which only 1 was for me! Okay, but I got the money back in the end.

Game in the afternoon, though, was A-W-E-S-O-M-E! With composure and really awesome support on attack/covers for defence, we won! :D Strained the quads muscle though. =(

Family dinner at Chinatown where 5 of us had, stingray, claypot rice, yupianmeefen! , orhlua, char kway teow! And of course, sugar cane! :D

Really yummy dinner with awesome family time. =)

Wasted my day on Sunday though =( With the excuse of a strained and painful quad,

 I stayed home and spent half my day on the phone. But thank you Yanns, J, Ding anyhow. :D

--------------------------------------------

School has been so-so, the typical monotony of a tertiary student. You wake up, head for lessons, fall asleep, wake up confused, return tired. The familiar faces I see each day, the company I have, has been shrinking. With everyone (including me) self declaring the week, or day, e-learning and choose home/hall over school for revision. 

As I have repeatedly whined about, this sem is the most fucked up ever, and hence I'm only taking 3 cores. (Six next sem! Argh) With that, no excuse for not starting revision yet, and no excuse for mediocre grades, yes?

Was supposed to head home this week, but a casual phonecall came with a solution, yay. Called Mommy on Tuesday, thought it'd be better, since she wouldn't have to send me to school today bright and early! But anyhow,  she messaged me a little later:

"Just to let you know I'm baking strawberry cheesecake. Thought you coming home. Hee :)"

-

"Come home lah. Actually I bake for you to take to school tomorrow I send you back."

-

And I did, we baked it together though. I've lotsa pretty (maybe not) pictures of the before, during and after process. We did, cornflake cookies, strawberry cheesecake, strawberry peach cheesecake, pineapple tarts. Yumyumyum. =)

So I didn't study in the end, but who cares.

(Stupid bluetooth isn't working well so I only managed to upload one picture. )

--------

Just yesterday, a peer fell in the LT and was pretty badly injured. Then suddenly the entire row sitting infront of us disappeared. If I were to be the casualty, would the whole row have disappeared too? Or would self-interest, once again, come first.

Maybe One Day We'll Wake Up, And It'd All Just Be A Dream.

1 Corinthians 13: 7 - It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.



It's just a moment of change.

Complicated Lifestyles.

Phil is,

very hurt.

And she doesn't want to talk to you for now.

And and she hates you for putting her where she is now.

Like really, really.

"you're being selfish."

Fairytales I Could Never Be.

Fitness today as expected,

we ran til we slipped, nearly tripped, and feared.

No, not the fear of running itself, but falling on the so-damned-wet track.

Now I feel like my body is disjointed, 

each part with a life of its own.

Unfortunately, the only place I wish was aching isn't.

Maybe we didn't do the core strength station properly. =(

Phil needs to make long passes. 15m backward pass and no shorter.

Competitive + Competitive = Super competitive!

So last night, we had intraschool capts ball. Kinda stupid on one hand how we spent hours waiting to play. Zzzz. But anyhow we had a good time. Think the final match was the most exciting one too. =) Had to handle alot of The Sp's shit but ok la, it was funny.

And as quoted by him in a really joking manner: "Winning isn't everything. It's the only thing!"

We got a really huge hamper which made The Sp damn happy, we were so amused with his satisfaction with little things. Then we crashed a hall's event, supported our fellow team mate and presented her with the hamper. HAHAHA Classic.

Was so flustered rushing from room to room, making T bring a spoon around hall that we didn't have dinner. Walked out to eat but I was so tired I was sleepwalking. =(

Still sorry I missed your performance, but I hope the honey water helped. :]

PS: Lab is an online experiment today so no school on thursday! :D

PPS: I need to watch 4 online lectures. Dieeeeeeeeeeeee.

PPPS: Too much of odd shaped balls = cannot catch round balls properly. :(

Last night, I was so spoilt I insisted on going home even at 11:30pm.
I called my mom, then called a cab in, and left for home....



There's NO place like home.
I'm glad I went home even though I woke up to no lunch. =(

All Over Nothing

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

-----

This is super tragic. I went to bed with a headache and a nauseous tumtum so I skipped church and by the time I woke up, I already missed breakfast. =( And I love weekend morning breakfasts.

Alsooo, I searched all the supermarkets in my neighbourhood plus those in H. ave 8 and NY mart and I still can't find my gummies. Why why why. Do not doubt their existence cos I've eaten them more than once! We used to have a weekly affair but then Gr.eg buys Snakes only now. =(

Third calamity, the macs downstairs has removed all their powerpoints. What a slut. =(

Just In Case You Forget How It feels.

So I guess I spent my weekend playing touch afterall.
We played 3v2 in the middle of Or.chard road, right infront of OldC.hangKee with flip flops/sandals/inappropriate footwear under the hot afternoon sun!

But I guess it was kinda fun, throwing balls into a hole in the banner; challenging ourselves to not touch the banner, or throw with our eyes closed, and while moving the banners. We also went mini 7-11 shopping, booth hopping, blah blah blah. Too bad the two little ones left as I arrived. But W + S + A made it better, better. =)

And we now all know how we'd look like when we're sixty... Boooooo =(

PS: Caught 'Burn after reading' and it was soo, sooooo, soooooooo bad. >=(

Imperfection, Indifference.

When the bridge we built is burnt,
the words we use become weapons,
the heart we have hardens like a freezing ice,

what would you do?

Angin Mati Orang!!

I let you take the wheel
And the driver's seat
Strapped in
So you get the best of me
Now what's left are the memories

When you were mine
You know

We had it all in front of us
You were the one
I was in love
But you always hurt
The one you lost
I couldn't get enough

You were everything
That's bad for me
Make no apologies
I'm crushed...
Black and blue
But you know
I'd do it all again for you

------

I learnt a new phrase today. You've gotta translate it twice to get the real meaning. (: Heh.

Lab today was shorter than expected! Chong and Brudder were sharing about how tedious and long it took but it was pretty allright. The two lab technicians are DAMN cock. It was more like a havoc class...


Anyhow, we went down for training. Freaking weather had to be this bad when I wore my new boots. And they're white! =( They feel a little too big for me actually, but it wasn't when I tried it on.. Ahhh, now they say I look funny. =(

Suicides and agility stations for training, then refereeing, and a half with the Com.Studies Interschool team.
Guess it was just average..

But dinner on the other hand.. Dinner was way awesome. No more food left by the time we ended so we walked for Macs. :D Yeah, violating diet plans but it's the company right.
We sat there for almost 2 hours and left around 1115. Made lotsa noise, disrupted all the late night muggers studying plans. But seriously, we have the right to that noise pollution, it's a Canteen. Not a library. Can't describe the awesomeness of the night, but you know what's lethal? Wasabi fries + chilli sauce + Fish burger + Milo. It gets you high. Like really really high.

We should do it again sometime soon, my dears! Study dates to start like last sem please! :D

PS: No touch over the weekend! Woohooooo
PPS: We are accumulating lots and lotsa bad karma. Hahaha

It's your choice. Not mine.

A Disease.

B:
if there is ever a disease called waiting
just for ur info

careless hearts, hollow eyes. says:
hahahahaha

B:
b just died
haa

everything we had.

All I Wanted To Do Was Deliver Breakfast. Then Leave.

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

I Held On To Your Promise.

Quoted from Griz's blog,

"1 Corinthians 13: 4-7
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love is more than a feeling.

Why do people end their relationships? Have they been abusing the word "love" to each other for the entire course of their relationship? I believe they have not. Perhaps in certain cases, people change and so has the love for their partner. Perhaps in certain cases, some do not truly understand the meaning of love. Do not fault them. After all, life's just a journey of lessons. I personally have learnt what the bible says about love and I like it.

Relationships are a test, a test to see if the other party is the one you would want to spend the rest of your life with. Sometimes the test could fail. Sometimes you need to sit the test multiple times, but if you're lucky, you will pass on the first try. People might have failed the first test badly, but I personally feel that it would be a pity to not try again. Maybe it's risky to try because the person might change, but life's all about trying."

--------------------------

What happens when the one who promises never to let you fall, is the one who pushes you down the bottomless pit?
Do you believe that the things happening to the ones dear to you have a large effect on you?

For example, people around you start studying, you'd feel motivated, or somewhat pressured to follow likewise.

When people talk to you about their insecurities with other issues, do you feel strongly related to the words they speak?

When they start questioning themselves, and the things around them, does it spur you to question the same things too?


I do not deny the heavy involvement in Touch has detached me from certain aspects of my life, especially the spiritual one. The weekends have been solely dedicated to my Full-time job, I haven't been able to see things outside my enclosed fish bowl.

Last Friday before CG, I screwed up. I said two things I shouldn't have and created a snowball effect, accumulating someone's fucked up emotions. I was let in on something few days later.
And subsequently, another piece of news.
They have affected me. They teach you to be more appreciative of what you already have, but from there, I see the similarities, I've drawn the comparisons.
And I waiver......

It's not that I'm insecure, it's not that I'm faithless.
I just (once again) don't know how to deal with it.

This whole sem is a fucking mess with a million issues unsettled on hand.
And I don't know where to start..
.
.
.
.
.



If any consolation, I finally got my months overdued OMG-HAHA-bag with a weeks-overdued date with MRS. DARCY. Lotsa sinful indulgences but these are the little sacrifices you make in return for a bigger bunch of happiness.

I love F.red F.lare! :D

Don't worry about me.

A Joke A Day.

ت says (12:23 AM):
why were the little strawberries upset

careless hearts says (12:23 AM):
cos mama berry was eaten

ت says (12:24 AM):
no

careless hearts says (12:25 AM):
then

ت says (12:25 AM):
cos his parents were caught in a jam!

----

Heh, jokes sharing makes the two emo kids feel better. Really.
Even though I'm hearing some for the millionth time, it still cracks me up.

Oh Man, What Am I Doing?

I failed my 40 fucking percent test.
And out of 151 students,
I'm the 20th.
From the fucking bottom.


AND I DROPPED MY PHONE AGAIN DURING ELECT!!
FOR THE FREAKING THIRD TIMEEE! URGH!

Between The Ink And The Paper,

We celebrated the end of Midterms with Kui.shinbo Buffetttt! :D
Actually, I was the only one with the midterms... =(
Ate til I could literally P-O-P!

And no N.tl on Friday, hence Cell!
We started on the book of Esther; learning about Respect and King Xerxes and Queen Vashti. Heehee. It was good to see (almost) the whole Stingray again :D

Make-up Mac breakf on Saturday for the one we missed on Wed.
A lousy, lousy day at turf, and an emo talk with Ekay on the way back.

Training on Sunday was fitness! =( Wasn't too bad for a first training though, but I wish we had more playing time. Though I was already 65% sian.


And a good way to tip the heavily mind-exhausting week, is a mindless weekend with lotsa sleep and relaxing and eating. =) Haha. Plus, a new phone Brudder calls Kueh Lapis!


PS: Another week off from school training. Shiokk. :D
PPS: I woke up with ants in my bread this morning... =(((

+

I dyed my hair,

but I don't see a difference AT ALL.

:(

PS: I just changed my cranky 910i walkman phone to a cyber shot one. And I also JUST fucking dropped it at my doorstep. @)$*@#%^*!)$!

PeeaSseLE Tomorrow!

These are the things my friends will say:

- "Why must hide around the bush?"


--"She's Brunette."
--"Oh, her name's Brunette?"
(Ok, I don't know how to spell that word)



--"Are your hands sour?"
--"I don't know leh, I never really tasted them." [This is a classic !]


And this is one thing another friend did today:

-Withdraw 1000 from the N.ie A.tm machine. HAHAHAHHA. I couldn't stop laughing for a whole 10 minutes as he sat there counting the notes to see if it was correct.


PS: NOOOOO N.tl TOMORROWW!!!!!
PPS: Gotta play on Sat though. Secretly lazy, but quite excited to play that team. =D
PPPS: Training bright and early on Sunday Morning....
PPPPS: I DON'T WANT TO MISS I.VEE.PEEE PLEASEEEEEE!!

I Need Your Loving Hands.

Selamat Hari Raya and Happy Children's Day.

I spent the day watching two episodes of G.ossipgirl and two episodes of Heroes,
and attempting to beat friends on Word Challenge.
Oh, and reaching Macs at 10:50 to see that their breakf menu has changed to the lunch one. =(

Welcome back to reality and Hall of Torture.
I pray for tomorrow to be a really great day. Please.

VerrrrrrrrrrrrrrmonSTAR(s)!

Saturday after two games of W.tl under the bloody hot sun (aka everyone gets sunburnt and some look like they've blusher on. Heeheehee)

Three Unis of Touchfoooties. Team.

Then we scooted off to Dempsey for B&J's;


VERMONSTER = 2o scoops

= totally wiped out in less than 15 minutes
Forfeit for Zhong Ji Mi Ma. (:



And on Sunday, I finally went for service! After daaaaammmnnn long.
Because, finally, no Sunday morning trainings.


As much as I love the sport, a break from it is good too.
Ankles please recover soooooooooon =(




PS: I cut my hair but no one seems to agree that it has been cut. =(
Btw, the hairdresser said my hair is SOOO black, it glows/shines. (She said, "liang(4)") Hahaha