Sometimes,
I tend to give up on a friendship.

There are many reasons why I do.

Sometimes they're not the best decision I make,

sometimes these decisions protect ourselves from future disappointments.

Sometimes, I regret.

Sometimes, I stop myself before it's too late.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Maybe it isn't worth letting go.

After all, I've always had faith that we're friends on a bigger basis than just _______.

Sunshine Time Again.

People always ask how you've been,
though I really don't understand why me.

Though tragic and slightly sadistic, I've pretty much given up catching.
No. Not catching, but TRYING to even catch up with the life you've oh-so-conveniently striked me out from.

I try hard convincing myself, and those around that we could "pick up from where we left off", but I'd tell you it's so hard it's becoming a lie if I said we could.

Everyone is busy, but that's not valid enough an excuse for forgetting.
"It takes two hands to clap", evidently clapping isn't our form of expressing our enjoyment.


This is really random.
These are words I should have keyed a long time ago but I never really wanted to admit this loss.
This is happening because I'm reading my friends page and realising I scroll down the page with less and less intervals to read.
This, maybe, should be ignored.
This is probably nonsense due to pre game jitters.

Moose Was Kidnapped.

"Nothing, I just want to talk."
"Sure, talk then"
"well but ironically i dont know what to say"
"has it been that long?"

-

I don't know if you still see this,

but there's so much to clarify.

I feel like there's so much to say,

but yet nothing to tell you at the same time.

Yes, it has been long,
and time has left a void,
and this void, acts like the space that bounds us off each other,
which now separates us not only in distance,
but in thoughts and emotions,
dividing our spaces,
and warning us of what once happened.

It feels as though there's so much I have to make up to you.
I don't know.

You say it's tension,
I think it's a mix of hostility, fear, hurt, pride, inconsistency,
and discomfort.
I guess we just need to be stripped of our pride, entirely.

-

This matter aside,
my phone went flat last night,
a bad time for it to die,
even worse for BOTH phones to run out of battery-
I missed the calls from Hr, sorry.

Fiveeeee more dayyys! =
Looking forward to the weeeeeeeeeekendddssssssssss!

You're So Hot, You're Fogging Up My Specs.

I got Punk'd, yet again, today.
But if any consolation, I'm spending my weekends with the two favourite-st people,
and lotsa other random company we meet along the way.

I neeed to take more photos to capture every lovely moment before it slips through my fingers like sand.

-

And indeed, it is that which does not kill that makes us stronger.
That which was killed, shall perish and be non existent.
So should my patience for your childish petty revengeful decisions and antics.
I deserve neither of your punishment, nor blessing.
And neither do you deserve anything from me.
From sugar coated promises to sour cherried jealousy,
you are mean nothing more than just seven alphabets that form a name to me,
and nothing friends can even describe,
because now, I can finally use the term "EX-FRIEND".
And yes, that will be it.
I won't die from one less friend that will lead to maybe 10 less friends because you seem to have them under your control.
Like you said, we'll move on and find our own.
I know I will get over this by tomorrow, I just wanted to whine.
It doesn't mean anything to me anyway, losing you.


Well, emo shit aside, TIME REALLY FLIES!
To think I was still complaining that January passed really slowly (probably cos I was jobless and I did the same stuff everyday and spent every last drop of cash I had, haha!)
But we're already in March now!
The Jan batch of Botaks are POP-ing on Wed,
and the Ptp are enlisting this Thurs,
soon the Apr batch will be enlisting,
then Uni life will start (Honestly, it freaks me out)
and eventually, our seniors will be ORD-ing.

Half of Me wants time to fly, yet another wishes it'd just take its time to crawl like a snail running a 100m race.
But no, don't we all know we can't always have what we want?

Sing For Absolution.

Yay today I have a photo!
Today, I went shopping with my BIO FRIEND WHO HAVEN'T ENDED As.
Tsktsk. Ultimate sin, my dear. But it's okay, cos she's so outstandingly smart and I have absolute faith she will do damn well. Today's short shopping trip is a quick reward for her many weeks of hardwork, and to mark the start of her I'm-ending-My-As-soon-woohooo feel!

Met SILLIES for breakfast at Yakun today(: Oh, but before that, Vernsiebaby suddenly msged and said, "MAMA I'm coming over now!"
And she passed me a bag of eatables- MARS BALLS (YAY) and I don't know what's the other one.

Sweets left for SENTOSA after breakie and Yanns very nicely accompanied me to go make my passport! Omg, it was so hilarious, cos we were running up and down and up and down. The queue, though long, wasn't as dreadful as we thought it'd be! And I had a very nice officer attending me(:
Soooooooo while we had to wait an hr for my passport, we walked down to Beach Road but there wasn't really much to see.
And we went back, watched a bit of Tom & Jerry then it was my turn already(: So we left for BUGIS!

Okay, I told Zi, Shit la, I'm shopping damn alot, I need to be controlled tmr!
Today, I came back with two tops and a pair of denim shorts that are damn coool (in my opinion) and the salesgirl was soooooooooo sweeet(:
And this is gonna sound so bimbotic but the charsiewbao I had before we left for home was like #%$%*&^^# yummy la. (Phil likes Baos man)

Just yesterday, I came home with two shirts and a belt (which I totally bought on impulse). And I reallly reaaallly like my SUPERMAN teeeeeeee (and Hr is very jealous)

But I only paid for one shirt cos the other was a gift from some SHOPPING KING who ended As two (or is it 3?) days before meeeeeeee(:
But as much as a shopping king he claims to be right, the shirt is like so LONG la. And he says, it's small for him so he thought it'd be fine on me.
Eh, wle, when he called he even asked if I wanted L size man. >=(
BUT BUT BUT-
I still like it and I'm very appreciative so thank you thank you thank you.
And sorry sorry sorry, for forgetting you today, my fellow impulsive shopper cum mr shopping king. (I am gonna overtake you in spendings soon already la!)

Okay, but at least I didn't shop on impulse today(:

More shopping tomorrow at another location! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
(wheeeeeeeeee's the current favourite word!)

**

Hmm, just two nights ago, we were out celebrating a classmate's birthday. Then a friend referred to one of his friends as an "ex friend". Initially, we laughed about it, talking about how we'd be his "ex friends" soon and how many ex-es we have. From Primary school ex to Secondary school ex, to first three months ex.

But then it suddenly struck me that, "ex-friend", is definitely not a term you'd want to be labelled as. But then again it's inevitable. "Ex friend". Definitely not something pleasing man. In fact, anything with the "ex" infront is just soo... eeeeeee.

But anyhow, then on Saturday night, an "ex friend" suddenly talked to me and asked me to call now that my As are finally over. I was shocked (not in a bad way) and she just kept apologising for always turning to me only when stuff like these happened. I didn't think it was necesary, cos as much as she is an "ex friend" (whom I probably haven't seen in say, half a year?), I thought it was comforting to know that you are remembered.

And to me, who I think of during my down times are definitely those who are of greater importance/significance than those I think of during my UPs.

Anyhow, as much as we are unclose now, I'll always remember how we met at the most ungodly hours just around our neighbourhood to talk about stuff and cry and scream over crazy cockroaches or run away from the interchange cos there was some weirdo stalking us walking around us in circles.

Sitting there listening to what she had to say and watching helplessly as tears rolled down her cheeks was the most painful and torturing few hours of my life. Through these 3, 4 years of "ex friendship", I've never seen her so bruised and hurt before. And I've yet to feel so helpless for quite some time, and I just couldn't find the right words like I used to. Maybe it was cos of the distance, but I'm somewhat comforted she could still open up to me. (I don't know if she was comfortable though)
Maybe it's just this inner understanding that was what started us off as such close friends initially.
( I think I'm contradicting myself, but whatever. hahaha)

~

Anyhow, on a more random note. I think I am very easily won over by Speech.
A very good example: Wentworth miller.
Another example: Some guy at some shop in Far East whom I thought was cute, but isn't really cute. And I only thought he was cute cos of how he talked.

But honestly, I think speech is really important. In the first place, that's the elementary form of communication, isn't it?

**

Bye Boss, Liang shit, Herngs, Gerald.

postscript: Moonflower body lotion sucks. It's smelly and oily.
postpostscript: I think Moe doesn't want me to be a teacher, the website keeps hanging on me.

Random question: Who talks to people they are starting to dislike?
And worse, who will hang out with people they are starting to dislike?

I wouldn't.
Hmm, weird.