The End Of Nothing,

Yesterday was one of the days you get slapped back to reality,
woken up to harsh truth,
and kicked to a corner of inevitabilities.

Fourth time in less than a week,
and thus the impact four times as hard.

It was one of those nights you fall asleep while being caught in between rubble of a collapsed building,
half hoping you wake up to rescue,
half hoping you'd depart while sleeping.

Most of the times, especially at this age, we try to convince ourselves on our much ripened maturity,
when we are not that independent after all.
After much contemplation, I picked up my phone,
hesitant and reluctant,
indecisive and stubborn,
and after a few turns round the clock,
I traded helplessness for comfort and company.
And in addition, we gained understanding, and closeness.
Though it made me bloody tired and stony today,
it was a price worth to pay.
So thank you, really. (:


My arms feel sore from all the shuffling, dealing, and book binding.
I've been an office girl in the morning, and a profitable banker at night.
In-betweens are crazy.

-

On a lighter note, this is my favourite photo for the day:(person who took the photo not in the picture)


Happy 19th to You, the far-away-in-Canada Tai-tai.

Stay with Me.

Ever since Day1 of Cny, it hit me that I've been increasingly stubborn.
Especially ever since one of life's suspension cords snapped. Lately, there's been too much in life to attend to, so many issues that deserve my attention, yet I choose to slacken in this highly uncomfortable yet temporarily relieving seat.
And I refuse to move.
No, not that it is luxurious, but I've been on my feet way too long that I'd settle for anything second best already. (And the worse thing is I'm limited to only what's Best and Second best.)

I might just eventually find pleasure in this seat, and not move until someone comes along and does something.

-

There are days where you are your normal self,
giggly, happy, crazy, whacky, insane.

Then again, there are days you are totally not yourself,
quiet, hostile, temperamental, (extremely) bitchy, grumpy, unhappy.


And THEN, there's those days where you feel like you totally want to be alone.
Yet being alone, is where you are in the comfort of those you don't ever want to live without.

Today, or maybe tonight,
is one of the many nights where I'm living in #3.


No, who says I'm emo?
I'm not.
It's just a sudden realisation. Haha.

A very long (in both ways) overdued post :

On the Saturday of my departure (231206),


I woke up at early 9 in the morning, to screams of my mom that I've yet to pack. So I lazily dug out some fbts and shirts and shorts and jeans and threw them into my luggage, then left for breakfast at Yakun's with CRABBY. [photo #1]

Then L retardly forgot he was supposed to meet me, and it rained, and since Nick stays near, I went down to pass him the stack of Christmas cards. And that's the sleepy, I-just-woke-up Nick for you. [photo #2]

And then I walked home from Nick's and continued packing, and waited for Mr. J to finally call me after manymany hours. I think it was already 3 plus and I had to leave home at 4.

So I left home again to meet Julie with my mom screaming again that I have to leave soon and I told her to give me half an hour. Passed J his card, shirt from Nick and BTT book (you better pass!) [photo #3]


Then I had to rush down to F's to pass her her Christmas card before I left. The weather was seriously playing a joke on me, cos it kept raining, stopping, drizzling, pouring, stopping and yeah. While waiting for the bus, a familiar Golden Hair Monkey stepped out of a car infront of me! I still remember, he was going Candycane shopping. [photo #4]

So I met F and passed her her oh-so-special card, gave her one last hug and felt like I'd never see her again (And I haven't seen her in ages anyway) and rushed home. [photo #5]

If I didn't remember wrongly, I ran all the way back from the bus stop.
And these are the lucky 5 people I met on the day of my departure! Wheee!

**

Mom & Sis sent me off to the airport, and I had DURIANPUFFS from Polar before Checking In. I was idling cos I didn't want to be alone but when I finally went in, the TV was flashing GATES CLOSING in red in front of me and I was like, OMG SHIT. And all 3 of us thought my gate was the nearest, but hell no, it was the furthest! ): I still made it in time though, sent my goodbye, I-love-you messages to my loves and boarded my BOEING 777-200.

Haha, and I felt really stupid for a few times cos I reacted really silly-ish and bimboticly.
The funniest I remember is when the officer handed me my Immigration card, asking if I had it:

"Do I need it?"
Then he took it back.

And I stretched my hand to take it.

"Do you have it?"

"Uh, I don't think soo?"

And he hands me the card.

Okay maybe it isn't really very funny but I felt really stupid.


I didn't check in early enough for a window seat, so I got a corridor seat, but I sat next to a really friendly grown woman who was also flying alone.

Since the flight was just a short one, SIA didn't provide earphones so I watched about an hour of silent movie - Little Ms Sunshine. But there were (olden) Chinese Subtitles which I tried verryy hard reading.

_______________________________

I waited extremely long for my baggage (only one bag lor) and exited to my cousin's spastic face. Instead of a warm greeting like, *hug* "HELLO! I MISSED YOU!", my cousin went "Who told you I was coming back Sunday morning????" --> Okay, another long story. I mixed up my cousin's arrival back from KL so I told my Mom who told my AuntS that he was coming back on Sunday morning though he was supposed to pick me up and they had to get another Uncle to pick me up. And apparently, both AuntS called to scream at him for being irresponsible and blah blah but he was already on his way back from KL. So yeah, comm breakdown; my bad!


Yay, it felt reaaalllyyy good to be back there. Haha.
I love the rush of sitting in the car as S accelerates til 140 and whoozes pass every car. Winding in and out the roads, between the cars, jambreaking and my screaming and him laughing at me and having people race us but us beating them anyhow.

________________________________

I've come up with my own philosogy (because it isn't a philosophy) on why people like Holidays.
Don't you think Holidays are just those temporary escape from reality, where you abandon all your burdens and leave for a different land, where you feel different about yourself and the people around you. It's like, a different world with different worries/troubles, or maybe even none at all. If given a choice, we'd want to be at our Holiday location always, because compared to where we are now, it is definitely less tiring, stressful, worrying, and more genuinely happy.

Especially for me, I love Penang so much because I live an entirely different world there. It doesn't bother me that I am travelling to a place that is just an hour away from Singapore and no time difference exists, and things there are roughly the same (except Penang has better food and is less developed) but somehow, I feel a part of me belongs there.

I have another Phil in Penang. Not that I'm saying I'm a different person there, but I have another life of my own there- my own social circle, my own activities, my own hangout, my personal favourites.
Besides my terrible dialect that I can't speak in b(ut am not short of comprehending), there isn't really much of a language barrier since Penang, in my opinion, is more Chinese populated.

I love every bit of Penang- from the Food, to the things to do, to the places, and most importantly, the People. Yes, it's the company that matters in everything you do and it's the company that makes the most boring thing of staying in a room without tv the most fun thing in the world. Or even the least enjoyable job of smelling like all sorts of Nonya food the most enriching times of your lives.

I will post another long retarded entry about Penang another time. There's so much cock to talk I'm too lazy to continue so I'm saving it as a draft.