I Melt In The Sun Like Sugar In Water.

Ever since I fell ill last week, everytime I step under the sun, I get this contracting feeling in my head.

And everytime I'm made to run a little harder than I can, I get this nauseous feeling in my tummy.

G made me realise a while ago that school is starting in 2 weeks.

Paradoxical feelings; I'm quite tired of holidays. (haha what a joke) Somehow, school gives you a direction, a focus. Though yes, 5/7 days I'm cooped up in PulauBoonlayNTU but ohwell, I guess it beats travelling there now 3/7 days for training bright and early.

Bad; I'm so desperate for my holiday and I know it's coming =) But when something comes it means it's going to end and school is starting.

A paragraph full of contradictions but with the significant changes made to my uni life with effect of this commencing semester, I don't know if I should be excited or worried.

J once told me, "Time doesn't past quickly. It only feels like it did when it's over because it already happened"

How true.

Yesterday, I was denied sleep after training and got dragged to Partyworld when I don't sing. So I got conned of sixteenbucks where I was semi upset. Then to accomodate us, they (FOC main comm!) let us slot in English songs which they knew too but it doesn't seem as fun as when they yell into the microphones alongside their favourite Chinese music. =((

W.araku-ed for dinner and ZM had swollen, cracked lips after 4 hours of emotion-filled serenading.

POSTCAMP

Left for camp with a little bit of regret, got through the days hoping for Friday to come quicker.

With very little sleep, (I can count the total hours with my two hands), a lot more disagreements, a lot of hardwork, infinite naggings and lotsa hiccups, we got through the days, we survived.

With a lot of surprise good food (Xinwang porridge on Monday from Chu! Cinnamon melts with Junx and Rah on Tues! Two cups of Koi on Wed + sushi at night from G! More cinnamon melts on Thurs!) But with everything comes sacrifice, I barely ate dinner on certain nights :(

Camp was all about flexibility, and not preparation as somehow, somewhere Log would misplace something, we would run out of blindfolds, we cannot find 4 chairs, etc. At 5am, we were staring at our pre-planned camp schedule and looking into suitable changes to accomodate superstitions and save money.

I had moments of anger, of childish fit where I asked myself: "Why am I the one doing this?"

When people were sleeping, I was up for debrief. Sleeping last and getting rudely awaken the next morning by people who missed debrief.

I had my moments of regret; when things go wrong and I just don't feel like salvaging them anymore. I wanted to leave, just get a breather and let the rest do it.

Ultimately, like I told S. Since I've given my commitment to it, I'd just get it done and over with, to the best of my ability, with all I've got.

In the end when people tell you how much fun they've had, how smooth camp went despite the many last minute changes, the satisfaction is one beyond words.

Just like how it felt after Touch Attack. (:

Thank you everyone for making camp a success.

I've made friends, enemies, changed impression of others and yes, undoubtedly had an awesomely fulfilling 5days 4nights.

Hibernation started yesterday, and it still hasn't ended.

Unpredictable.

I just read an email.

It had KARMA written all over it.

May WORLD PEACE follow after this incident.

****************

Over the weekend, Seniors' camp and Touch Attack happened.

The former took place on Saturday, at Sentosa. Despite the light shower and grey clouds looming, we carried on. We merely played six games with four

groups of very unsupportive, discouraging, RUDE, disobeying SENIORS who totally pissed me off (ok actually only ONE particular CGL) but before we reached the last segment I was already DEAD tired.

I suddenly fell silent and became 90% inactive and needed my name to be called out at least twice before I could respond. Ok, maybe it was the heat + hunger + dehydration + fatigue + angst + preparation that led to that but I'm so gonna die

on the actual camp. 6 days of this. Ohmymama, no wonder my fellow cp decided to sit down and play poker with satay sticks as chips.

Touch Attack on Sunday was crazyrushed. We ran the entire event with ONLY 10 people. And like I said in my emo sms, if I could do it all over again, I'd still choose this 10 people to run the show with me. Because they are the ones that cover one another's asses. They are the ones who will wake up bright and early to come help out. They are the ones who returned to school on a weekend for preparation. They are the ones who effortlessly did the job

of 3 people. They are the ones who, at the end of the day, sit down together with me, and reflect on the day's event.

Though there were many pre-event hiccups, we managed to pull through and it was awesome.

We fell short of our targetted teams by quite a bit but ultimately, finance is just a secondary objective.

Felt really surreal when it was over. How the month-long uncertainty built up to the week-long sleepless nights and intense concentration to do game & ref fixtures.

I will remember how I was crazybusy running up and down from the emcee tables to the three pitches; to play, to ref, or to collate score sheets for updates. I will remember how There's A Fire! gave their 101% in their games and in their sales of food/drinks. I will rememer how DearAshley shook hands and reminded opponents to "Buy our hotdogs". I will remember how yummy the hotdogs tasted! (They were so good I was still thinking of it late that night). I will remember how J.eannette holds a mic, a loudhailer, a stopwatch in one hand while the other lowers the volume of our music. I will remember the damned lightning

alarm and how we had to delay our games. I will remember how XP's math is much better than mine(: I will remember how much sh** A.ngela & Ek put up with know-it-all U20 teams. I will remember how Coach reffed til she had blisters in her feet.

At the end of the day, we received lotsa positive feedback, both from participants and teammates, even coach. And that made everything more meaningful than it already was. Indeed, everyone contributed to the success: my awesome teammates + coach, our awesome sports officer in charge, the participants, the refs.

Thank you all.

My sleepless nights, deteriorating eyesight, endless nagging have paid off.

Dear Yanns also left on Sunday morning for Hamburg and has reported to have landed without her checked-in luggages. But nonetheless, at least you're safe dear! LOVES!

Monday was the legendary Stars wars where my star planner hung and I managed to get a grand total of ZERO core modules. There were absolutely no slots left for any tutorial index and GO had made me call back "5 mins later" when I called.

Eventually managed to get the mods. Like M.ichael says, "seems like such a norm" now since we go through it every fcuking semester. Hur!

Tuesday, Date with Liangshitfavourite before Crabby's Disney-themed 21st!

Wednesday,

Itinerary after training:

-Ice spa with Valley Welly & a Goldfish

-Manicure/ pedicure lavender aromatherapy session with Ms A.ngela Yong

-Facial (with free body scrub & face mask thrown in) with Ms X.in Pei

-Lastly, organic healthy eating lunch with AnneSkinnyGoh

(as quoted from coach's email)

J.eannette and I went shopping; from Wheelock to Shaw to O.rchard central. Heehee

I went home and the heels of my feet hurt so bad :(

An extremely long-overdued meet up with the Bestie on Thursday,
and with the supposedly quarantined Ameliaaaa today!

Where we had sushi and 50 dollah mao shan wang durian!!!!!!!!!

I will keep getting better.

(photos from Chow's FB Album)

Saturday;

A major frozen yogurt craving led myself to Jco as recommended by JL which tasted ten times better than it looks. The Ahgong wanted to furniture shop so we headed down to Park Mall where we wow-ed at the jacked up prices of H.erman Miller furniture.

Then we celebrated Eugene's 21st with Bbq food, 8-player soccer on a PS3, ice cream cake, and too much beer.

S does a reaally awesome job with instigation which landed himself in the hot seat with Mal. I can't remember who won but I (though not involved in the drinking game) won myself a driver's seat in the Stream later that night because of that.

The game then got modified with coke for Halal friends and chengteng for drivers and 2-year-old vodka with beer as it went on. It even involved school pride, and sexist issues, etc etc.

Sunday;

As usual (for now, but not anymore). Lunch with S and sister at A.ston's, Novena for coffee from Starbucks, picked cousin, picked Daddy, F1/Discovery Turbo at home.

Dinnered at Newton (the cheng teng was so yummy!), caught H.arper's.

And then. Water works.

S was initially confused/slightly frustrated but ended up laughing at the situation.

I don't know if it was to make me feel better about it or because he didn't see the severity like I did. But I hope it's the former.

Woke up bright and early at 730am for training of which the Birthday Girl decided to attend at 2300 the previous night so we couldn't get cake. Coach wasn't around so it was more light hearted and we water breaked longer than our drills. SHH.

Jean and I lunched with Angie before we went up to her room for some cheesecake lovin'. :D

Was so tired I could fall asleep anywhere by 4. :(

CP meeting was slightly awkward but very productive albeit taking more than 3 hours. We tried XinWang Taiwan which was surprisingly pretty good(: Cheaper and better than the HK one anytime(:

We managed to shorten Seniors' Camp to 1 day! Ended just in time with S' training so I joined the boys for dinner at BK with some Mos Iced milk tea(:

Woke up aching entirely today :( And need to start doing up Fixtures. :(

But it also looks like my rushed week is a tinybit more relaxed with Seniors camp shortened by half(:

You don't miss your water til the well runs dry.

Talk Is Cheap.

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN THAT I'M ALREADY READY FOR EXAMS BUT HELL NO.

This weekend was very different from the last.

Last week, I rushed off class to H.omeTeam NS where the staff was ultimately unfriendly. Basically we made a wasted trip down, and now we the cheif programmers are in deep shit cos we have no accomodation for F.OC. =(

And like any other Saturday, I played touch, fell asleep, woke in time for dinner, ice cream treat & movie with S. We caught ... Shopaholic, which I thought was better than expected. Coincidentally bumped into my sister at the theatre so we had a lift home!

Sunday was spent with the dear ex-roomie, for just 1.5hours to celebrate her transition of a kid to an older kid. Haha. 21 or 12, you'll still be a kid to me! Heh.

And yes, it was a nice 1.5 hours. Short but enough(:

This week: Sushi buffet til 6-ish then supper at Prata house til 1-ish.

And (once again) like any other Saturday I played touch, sat under an umbrella to watch touch, was at turf while it was damn hot til it rained til it got sunny again, iced my thumb, waited half an hr for Mr. PresidentAw, watched S play for G.uinness against the Natnl team boys with PresAw, chomped for dinner, and studied (wow finally(: )

Today, was caught in the heavyheavy rain but decided to get drenched cos we were freaking hungry(: Spent the afternoon with Penguin. It's becoming a typical Sunday for us, and I kinda like it(:

Basically after sprained my thumb thrice in a week: Saturday, Tuesday, Saturday, it has finally swollen and hurts big time. It's bloodclotted and hurts when I try to move it (therefore hurts when I write too) HENCE I have skipped Sunday training (again). Hah, I'm never gonna go for training until exams are over. =\

PS: I still want to chop my hair.

PPS: I feel like sleeping already but I have two CAs tomorrow, of which I haven't started one.

Goodbye my Touch. Though We've Only Met For 2days.

**

I saw it coming- I'm sure I did. Yet I did nothing to stop it.

Or maybe, doing nothing was the only thing I could do.

People talk about the 'Angel' and 'Devil' voices in our heads; the good and the bad.

But sometimes it's just our Hearts versus our Heads.

There is no good or bad, only something we can't explain, something intangible, something non measurable.

---------------------------------

School today was slightly different, we had donuts and cookies as Exam Welfare.

We chose to queue for the donuts over cookies and it was disgusting how there were people eating a cookie, queueing for the donut. And, how can someone carry 5 boxes of cereal/files/foolscap and strutt into the LT, late, yet so proud of his achievements?

Sorry but I cannot accept it. 

Caught St.reetFighter: ChunLi yesterday. Kinda felt like a budget action movie, tragic.

But the lead is really pretty (:

Concluded our last F.OC meeting before the exams and we (CPs) still have many little holes to fill up which actually sums to quite a huge amount of work. :(

School's coming to an end, with every module wrapping up its last lecture, last tutorial. Exams are less than 20 (?) days away, yet the urgency is missing.

Every sem I promise myself the next will be different and give myself some slack. But come the next sem, things never change. :(

My self-discipline disgusts me.

Oh! And yes, I've sold the touch.

Gen2 here I comeeeeee! :D

Normal local students: GPa = "Giga Pascal"

My tutor: GPa = "Jiggle Pah!"

It's Not Always Rainbows and Butterflies.

Recess Week;Met my Mrsdarcy alot to slackshopeattalk and just be around each other.

Had an extremely wet Saturday where we played in the rain and took breaks when the rain stopped. Headed down to Th.omson to look for D dearest (If you see this, are you ok!!!!???)

and had an unintended stayover at H.ave8. =\

Church on Sunday where I had my motherfingkillercramps so I spent the entire Sunday in bed and missed the gathering at Syl's place =(

CP meeting on Monday, almost everything is done now except a few minor changes and little things to confirm with extenal companies. Really really looking forward to camp, though it is going to be super tiring on us. =) Dear Mrsdarcy was 45mins too late, and the next thing we knew, we were running across overhead bridges, running after buses so as to not be late for S' game. (which they lost and it was pretty wasted)

Woke up earlyearly on Tues for Manufacturing meeting. And everybody was L-A-T-E! >=(

But here's what happened:

(The previous night)

P: "G can you wake me up at 8 tomorrow please! It's so late already and I'm scared I'd oversleep."

(The next morning)

P: "Good morning! I'm awake!"

G: "Wah seems you woke earlier than me."

.

.

.

.

G: "I just showered. I think I will leave my house at about 830 :)" --> I remember the smiley.

P: "Aren't you gonna be SOOOOOOO late? My dad's sending me there"

G: "Wah shit."

It was really quite funny. =)

Had Kui.shimbo buffet for lunch with S and caught He's just not that into you as recommended by Yanns but we didn't like it! :(

Rushed off for training cos it ended later than expected. Good thing the Bff was around the area too (: And training was, wet wet wet once again. Hate the sun, but also hate the rain around evening times.

McD. for supper cos I skipped dinner. Hrmmmm.

It was a really ordinary day for a special one, it felt just like any other normal day which shouldn't have been the case. =( Was a tad bit disappointed, and sad. But... oh well. It just says alot.

Wednesday; Bao meetup was cancelled due to last min pangsehs and mia cases. Vivoed for lunch and got Boost juice(: Yay, yay. Headed back to school only to find out training is cancelled =( so we KFCed for lunch and caught Slumdog.

Studied more with Penguin dearest on Thursday and left for home at night.

(Supposed to) study more with Mrsdarcy on Friday but we got distracted in Town and started retail therapying. =) And and and, I had my Starbucks fix(:

Met the boysss (Ahgong and fellow #8!) who bullied us over dinner; They brought us for Jap food at some kickass restaurant whose menu is entirely in Japanese and they refused to help us. Headed to B.arstop (nice place(: ) after that though! For drinks and to catch up. And we revisited The Blue Hole, which btw, looks different?

Saturday was disappointing. The sun was scorching hot, and I felt more lethargic than I normally did. Probably cos I didn't sleep well =( And we lost the only game I wanted to win so badly. Oh wellllll. Had 100+ at the coffeeshop with Syl and felt a little like Uncles who have beers and peanuts. Missed lunch cos I just didn't have the appetite.

Was asked over for a birthday celebration which was pretty cute(: 

Slept with a fulltummy and woke up feeling really sick on Sunday :( Cabbed to Tan.jong together with the rest of the team and allowed ourselves to get burnt. Felt this year's S&S wasn't as fun as last year's tooo. =( It poured as expected (just as we were leaving so we still got soaked anyway) and had awesome tomyam noodles for dinner and slept from 7 til 1030pm. OMG :|

So now, back to school.

Hate it as usual, but at least it keeps you going.

"Do You Wanna Be A Quitter? Or Someone Who Stays"

One week ago,

Tuesday; we had pizza and macdonalds and htht after training til two in the morning,

with our shorts and underwear soaked from icedips. Then we lugged the huge green bin back all the way from CanA.

Wednesday; Yanyi crashed IS training (it was fun though!), then we starved while waiting for the Bff and Spacemedic0016 (haha) and had lunch at 3. Then my stomach/digestive system threw a tantrum (diarrhoea) and the rest of the body screamed for rest. Decided to give training a miss (despite the coin flipping's decision to not skip) and slept. Woke up with a fever and found myself in deep shit. But then again, I didn't quite care.

Thursday; 

the cousins/aunts were back from cruiseee. Shopped a little in town before the friendly (omg the blue top from topshopt and black top from fcuk :( ) Played a pretty awesome + fun game with the boys down at Rpeeee.

Cabbed down with wet shorts/underwear/shirt/skins (totally freezing!) to Laopasat and had only chicken wings and squid for dinner. =( Then headed back to Ritz for the rest of the night and baby-fashion-show-watched til we felt sleepy and Shanniee stayed over! :D

Friday; woke up to Macs, headed down to Full.erton, then more shopping, more babysitting, more Macs and lotsa Starbucks. S came later with a surprise (skins!!) and he took over the babysitting (or baby carrying in this sense). And we bumped into lotsa people: "secret daughters?".

Haha. Had some Mega Seafood Feast for dinner but it wasn't as yummy as it looked. PSP-ed like mad the whole night with lotsa A.pe Academy challenging. Then we said our final goodbyes(:

Saturday; slept in, caught S's game (awesome game!), tossed in bed til late :\

Sunday; wet, wet, wet, cold. Prayed for rain, and training to be cancelled. Got the first, didn't get the second. Boohoo =(

Then I watched Love Actually til I couldn't stop crying (haha)

-----------

This week,

Monday; caught the Bestie for breakf before she left for Europeeee, that lucky girl. I love you, Seeef! :D Then met Pong, and we ate til we popped (though we shared a meal and didn't intend to binge at all). Then, the very screwed up friendly.

Then D, as usual, ohsonicely cabbed down to check up on me(: And we did what we used to always do, but haven't done in a really long time. ;) Thanks for everything, as always, Love.

I love you, Ding! :D

Tuesday; CP meeting at Starbucks. We're almost done, and I hope we don't need to meet on Thurs anymore :D Caught the very last quarter of Basketball IH, then trained with a new area taped up.

"That's new. What happened?"

"Uh, I don't know, It just hurts."

--

Coach and I had a very good talk after training, together with J and A.

"It is just how much you want it."

She gave me the green light to make my own decision and assured me not to think/worry too much.

But I am still indecisive.

We ordered Macs (again :( ) to Fifteen and ate at the lounge, with aircon (hence freezing with our shorts &underwear wet again..), television, and a mini htht.

When you can't find strength from within, you draw it from others.

"It's only three more weeks, Phil."