Halfway.

I don't deal very well with losses, I admit. Be it temporary, permanent, or forever.

These words, I heard on repeat: "A brother I never had", "sincere", "filial", "more than a friend", "cheerful", "friendly", "always a fighter", "never knew the true meaning of 'giving up' ". To you, these are just words. To those who spoke them, they are memories, lessons learnt, values they aspire to achieve.

There were just 3.5 of us, 0.5 being the Jien who wanted to be there but got caught up with unpredictable stuff at home. Sad to say, it is always the wrong reasons that bring people together: Graduation (after which we will go our separate ways), Farewells for friends leaving on exchange, Bereavement. They are barely reasons for celebration, yet get-togethers are more successful than a "Reunion". Have to admit, am utterly disappointed with the turnout from the Sixth. We are a 26-man huge comm, yet the attendance was just three. What?!

-----------------------------

And on second chances: How often are we given the privilege of that. For redemption, for convincing, for proving.

Over brunch with Yanns, we HAD to bring up the fragility and vulnerability of life.

Naturally, every mankind wants to be in control of something; be it in our lives, or simple things like Plans. I for one, plan ahead and hate uncertainties. I hate it when something not within my control crops up and calls for plan B. Here's my loophole: I always plan ahead but I never have a backup plan. Sometimes I wonder if it's because I'm being an alpha female; and these uncertainties leave me crippled without the empowerment of control.

But as the saying goes, we learn things best the hard way. And I'm slowly getting it.

I've effectively gotten upset with someone/myself once a day this entire week, and it's really tiring. But sometimes you don't really have anyone to blame but yourself.

*

"I'm not angry, I'm just saying,

Sometimes goodbye is a second chance."

Bella.

I am...

panic attacking for the second time for Wednesday's paper.

BUT : I have a paper tomorrow so there should be no reason for me to neglect it.

S says I should stop thinking about it so I've kept all the notes, past year papers, tutorials, and everything that reminds me of Advanced Materials Processing in a file and hid it under my table.

Spent the weekend in hall, except Friday night and the first half of Saturday.

Surprised Seef over breakf with the other 4 of Bao (sorry you couldn't be there Sheryl!) to celebrate her 21st one day early. (:

So I'm finally starting exams tomorrow! (: About time, when people around me are beginning to E-N-D. :( 7dec sounds so far away, but shall not complain about the time I have on hand to use for revision! (:

Need to go for a run soon. Getting oversized.

I Know That You Were Trouble, But I Couldn't Resist.

So I :

• removed my stitches today, and
• found out that my bottom right wisdom is in a worst state than the one I extracted and hence,
• will experience a more traumatic post-surgery recovery when I do get it extracted.
• finally went for 930 lesson after breakf with the roomie
• couldn't stop sleeping in oh-so-boring elective.
• was asked the meaning of "LOVE" today.
• recently can't stop throwing FORWARD passes
• didn't play w.tl on Saturday but still went down
• caught Timetraveller's wife over the weekend with Bao, and
• didn't really like it. :(
• missed my gipee interview last wednesday thanks to wisdom surgery, yet
• was offered/recommended for it but,
• had to reject it after calling up gipee office only to find out it clashes with the infamous ivpee.
• made a domokun card + whippedcream-covered-sponge as a pseudo cake for Jeannette's 21st with Jieling
• have a new found baby whom I spoil. It is true.
• was too late to sign up for Nikehumanrace AGAIN but it clashes with w.tl anywayyyyy
• must be patient
• must not express negativity to my teammates on the field
• am excited for S.unig yet a little scared
• was told that we think alike by A(nne)
• really hate reccosboys cos they are so effing selfish and full of themselves
• really hate 5llah softball male team after today cos they were so rude and unapologetic after lousy bats and allowing their softballs to fly into our field more than 3 times when they didn't even book the freaking field.
• missed out on eating dessert last night cos they stall was closed after we finished our main course, and hence
• tried the weirdest combination of ice ever - peanut ice, mango puree and nata de coco.
• was visited by seetohmeetoh weiyanndearest last Friday after wisdom extraction who bought me hotfudge sundae! WHEEEEEE
• as usual, hate school
• have been trying to sleep early, wake early. And so far,
• have been sleeping by 230am and waking up before 1130am. Good start.
• am currently hooked on: All The Right Moves/OneRepublic and Two is Better Than One/BoyslikeGirls
• need to study studying. THREE TESTS COMING!!!

PS: And Jeannette says: " I LOVE/사랑해/大好き/真的好爱/*insert 'love' in other languages here* you all~ "

Whichever You Prefer.

Training on Wednesday was "Back - to - School" themed. We all came dressed in our JC jerseys and we were reeeaaallly colourful that day. It made training look bright and happy but the fitness/drills totally killed whatever was left.

We forgot to take pictures so we took this while waiting. (:

Thursday(night) was spent with no other than my favourite people from schoool. =D

From Prata to intended ice cream at I.cekimo (which was closed by the time we arrived), and then to prawning til 3ish. We spent more than 10$ on snacks to last us through the night, and caught a grand total of FORTY ONE PRAWNZZZZ.

Slightly into the first hour, we realised our net had many huge holes and thus 2 luckyshit prawns managed to escape. :( But we were on a rolll the next two hours and Brudder even caught a KING PRAWN!

It was definitely much more enjoyable than the first time I went. Somehow we couldn't get used to the amount of strength to be used so I managed to send two of the prawns I caught on an insane Reverse Bungee ride, concussing them as they hit the walls on the side. Chong even tangled up our rod with the lamps hung up.

We had fun feasting, but we finished them all up in less than half an hour.

Nothing tastes as good as when you've caught/cooked/earned them yourself. :D

Site recce on Friday was awesome. It was short, sweet, SPECTACULARR. We were in total AWE of the place, and it was so much nicer than what I remembered it to be..

Really. Awesome. (:

Then, that night, Mommy brought home her Third Daughter. (HAHA) Some little cute p3 kid who stayed over for the night. Both of them were sooo caught up with their Facebooking games, I was quite speechless. My mom is 5* (secret! hah!) and the girl is only 9!

Saturday; had an awful breakfast. :( I didn't get my waffles and everything was just so bad. Then we had our semis. Really important game. Victory would have been sweeeeeet, but we didn't work hard enough for it. The first time we played this team, we lost 4-2. Then we drew 3-3 the second time, and finally won 4-3, earning ourselves 2nd place in the table.

Yet, during semis we lost 5-4. It was so so close, the pressure was intense, everyone was flustered. It didn't help that we were screaming at one another, but the opposition deserved to win based on that 40 minutes. Tragic, but true. =(

Made my way down to S.omerset Residences to celebrate Liu's 21st! It rained and thus ruined the party plans by the pool and everything reverted back to the room. The birthday boy had pretty cupcakes in place of a birthday cake which was kinda cute. (Since he's a boy!)

Woke up bright and early for Funtouch today. We won! Black berries. Haha.

And the rest won u21 girls too! Even the Turf Babe was from our team, so awesome stuff.

Hate astro burns/ sun burns though. And yes, my middle finger is swollen from a boot-kicking action from I-can't-remember-who. =(

Caught T.erminator just now. It is definitely one awesome action packed film.

But it kinda made me nauseous. =(

Back to touch tomorrow with taped up fingers. AGAIN. Oh my. 4th consecutive day of Touch tomorrow. :( OK STOP WHINGING. Goodnight.

Now?

The weekend passed like pseudo post-exams,

Friday with Family,

Saturday playing Touch and supper with Bao,

Sunday spent at church, shopping, airport slacking and watching soccer.

It also felt somewhat like a celebration, where we treated ourselves to good food; Mac Breakfast, Kenny Rogers, Sushi, Kickass prawn noodles, Supper at T.ongshui, X.in wang .....  .

The sun on Saturday was mega hot, so hot I had goosebumps. Weird, cos it has never happened before and I thought they'd only appear when I'm extremely cold.

We won 8-7, not too convincing a win, but one nonetheless. Grazed my knees and nearly evaporated under the heat. =(

Then an impromptu supper retreat, which led to lotsa screaming in the car (which isn't uncommon). It was a good catch up, a good break from revision, a good source of comfort- that old times never die. 

Sunday, travelled to about two places to get a watch with a heart rate monitor. When we finally found it, turns out they didn't have the strap, so we got another (which in my opinion, is probably only third or fourth best ) Studied for about two hours or so before we headed East to Bedok, an hour early. Aiport for dinner, and supposedly study, but the plane landed early and dinner took longer than expected no thanks to poor service. 

Stayed up to watch M.anU lose. >=( Even though they fielded a really young team, I thought they'd still pull through. We went into penalties and lost. YOU KNOW WHY? Cos VANDERSAR didn't play. =) Still think Welbeck sucks btw.

Mommy sent us back to hall after lunch today(: Yay to a spare car for two weeks! :D I tried starting to shift out and unknowingly packed two (huggee) bags worth of clothes but my wardrobe still looks the same.

PS: The touch is home, still sealed, and hidden in a corner under my table.

(NO GPANG you are not going to open it for me(: )

PPS: 2 people walked past and commented how shag/stressed/qiao cui I look, another via webcam, and another over dinner. This is not a good sign. =(

Honest Juice.

I hate Sunday Nights. :( Hate the pre-Monday Blues, hate the feeling of coming back to school for yet another 5 days of torture, hate the academic information, hate school.

OK JUST WHINING.

(This is a bottle I brought back all the way from NZ. HAH. The orange juice is daaaaamn good ok. And I really like the bottle though it's just a sticker over some ordinary plastic case! :D )

-------------------------

Effectively did nothing over the weekend yet lack the sense of urgency currently.

I KNOW there's a million things I have to do, and should be doing but I can't get started, can't settle down.

My arms are still aching from Thursday's training (We had to do 50 long passes each, for both sides. = 100 long pass) and carrying Friday's shopping stuff from A.didas warehouse. (S and I spent 400$ altogether but he definitely bought more!! Haha)

I probably also ate more than what I'd normally eat in a week over the past 2 days:

Friday, Thai Food for lunch, (then I went home fell asleep watching webcast). Met Ahgong/Art/Yanns with S and had dinner at Little.part 1 (don't trust reviews, it isn't that good) which wasn't enough for the boys. Seventh H.eaven for dessert (must go!) then, to B.alestier for BKT. It's almost like we had Part 1 of the Food trail. Heh.

Saturday, Mac breakf, which we haven't had in a long time. (Not Mac, just weekend breakf)

D.empsey for touch after where it poured like mad. And I fucking sprained my thumb! But it's the left one this time, and it isn't as bad as the previous sprain on the right so ogays. But but, I really HATE PLAYING AGAINST BOYS.

Went back to SA.jc, wasted time watching the boys play touch, and we had Food trail Part 2.

Tpy's Fishball Noodles, Purvis' Beef Noodles, Maxwell for Orhlua/Porridge/Pigs organ soup where I ordered a really diluted cup of Strawberry/Mango juice, Eggtarts, U.dders for Ice cream. We wanted to go Thomson for BCM (!!) but we headed to Thom.son 800 instead for Soccer. (ManUtd lost. Seriously. It was really hard to watch. :( ) Had Wala's pizza after soccer/before rugby. Caught the first 10mins of R.BS 6nations finals and fell asleep. HAHA.

Sunday; after 4 hours of sleep and dozing off during service, I dabaoed BCM (!!!) from AMK's kickass store and went down to H.ave8. Of course it doesn't taste as awesome packed, but it finally satisfied S' craving which lasted for 2 days. So poor thing.

Then dinner at O.asis where I was forced to eat alot (I don't like the 'Skinny Talk' at the dinner table. Reeallly.) and was tempted with KOI (hahaha gee pang!!) but for the benefit of my health, I resisted. YAY. Good job phil. (:

Oh yes and I was phone-less the whole Saturday til after service on Sunday cos I absent-mindedly left my phone in the car.

I'm still tired from the lack of sleep and I've been having a resident headache.

Maybe it's like Griz's: "Tension Headache", the doctor said.

Happy Birthday Pong,

Happy Birthday Tingyi.

"Do You Wanna Be A Quitter? Or Someone Who Stays"

One week ago,

Tuesday; we had pizza and macdonalds and htht after training til two in the morning,

with our shorts and underwear soaked from icedips. Then we lugged the huge green bin back all the way from CanA.

Wednesday; Yanyi crashed IS training (it was fun though!), then we starved while waiting for the Bff and Spacemedic0016 (haha) and had lunch at 3. Then my stomach/digestive system threw a tantrum (diarrhoea) and the rest of the body screamed for rest. Decided to give training a miss (despite the coin flipping's decision to not skip) and slept. Woke up with a fever and found myself in deep shit. But then again, I didn't quite care.

Thursday; 

the cousins/aunts were back from cruiseee. Shopped a little in town before the friendly (omg the blue top from topshopt and black top from fcuk :( ) Played a pretty awesome + fun game with the boys down at Rpeeee.

Cabbed down with wet shorts/underwear/shirt/skins (totally freezing!) to Laopasat and had only chicken wings and squid for dinner. =( Then headed back to Ritz for the rest of the night and baby-fashion-show-watched til we felt sleepy and Shanniee stayed over! :D

Friday; woke up to Macs, headed down to Full.erton, then more shopping, more babysitting, more Macs and lotsa Starbucks. S came later with a surprise (skins!!) and he took over the babysitting (or baby carrying in this sense). And we bumped into lotsa people: "secret daughters?".

Haha. Had some Mega Seafood Feast for dinner but it wasn't as yummy as it looked. PSP-ed like mad the whole night with lotsa A.pe Academy challenging. Then we said our final goodbyes(:

Saturday; slept in, caught S's game (awesome game!), tossed in bed til late :\

Sunday; wet, wet, wet, cold. Prayed for rain, and training to be cancelled. Got the first, didn't get the second. Boohoo =(

Then I watched Love Actually til I couldn't stop crying (haha)

-----------

This week,

Monday; caught the Bestie for breakf before she left for Europeeee, that lucky girl. I love you, Seeef! :D Then met Pong, and we ate til we popped (though we shared a meal and didn't intend to binge at all). Then, the very screwed up friendly.

Then D, as usual, ohsonicely cabbed down to check up on me(: And we did what we used to always do, but haven't done in a really long time. ;) Thanks for everything, as always, Love.

I love you, Ding! :D

Tuesday; CP meeting at Starbucks. We're almost done, and I hope we don't need to meet on Thurs anymore :D Caught the very last quarter of Basketball IH, then trained with a new area taped up.

"That's new. What happened?"

"Uh, I don't know, It just hurts."

--

Coach and I had a very good talk after training, together with J and A.

"It is just how much you want it."

She gave me the green light to make my own decision and assured me not to think/worry too much.

But I am still indecisive.

We ordered Macs (again :( ) to Fifteen and ate at the lounge, with aircon (hence freezing with our shorts &underwear wet again..), television, and a mini htht.

When you can't find strength from within, you draw it from others.

"It's only three more weeks, Phil."

Between The Ink And The Paper,

We celebrated the end of Midterms with Kui.shinbo Buffetttt! :D
Actually, I was the only one with the midterms... =(
Ate til I could literally P-O-P!

And no N.tl on Friday, hence Cell!
We started on the book of Esther; learning about Respect and King Xerxes and Queen Vashti. Heehee. It was good to see (almost) the whole Stingray again :D

Make-up Mac breakf on Saturday for the one we missed on Wed.
A lousy, lousy day at turf, and an emo talk with Ekay on the way back.

Training on Sunday was fitness! =( Wasn't too bad for a first training though, but I wish we had more playing time. Though I was already 65% sian.


And a good way to tip the heavily mind-exhausting week, is a mindless weekend with lotsa sleep and relaxing and eating. =) Haha. Plus, a new phone Brudder calls Kueh Lapis!


PS: Another week off from school training. Shiokk. :D
PPS: I woke up with ants in my bread this morning... =(((

I Need Your Loving Hands.

Selamat Hari Raya and Happy Children's Day.

I spent the day watching two episodes of G.ossipgirl and two episodes of Heroes,
and attempting to beat friends on Word Challenge.
Oh, and reaching Macs at 10:50 to see that their breakf menu has changed to the lunch one. =(

Welcome back to reality and Hall of Torture.
I pray for tomorrow to be a really great day. Please.