The thing about phases, is that it'll always end.
Only a matter of time.


Thank you for the weekends; it's time to sleep in.

I feel like dying but yup,

hang in there Philo.

-

I'm so tired of finding excuses to stop finding excuses for myself.

+

"XXX-- SOOO many things to do with so lil time... so stressed that u wanna put out your own hair"

-- my friend is so stressed his hair caught fire and now needs to put it out.

Aww, poor thing. =) Heeee.

Draw It.

There is a fine line between mind over matter and rationality.

Mind Over Matter:

That's when your entire body is aching and your legs feel like they weigh a ton. You're breathing heavily and you're questioning how much you can hold on.

MIND OVER MATTER: suck it up, tell yourself you're better than this. Press on, push forward, stay strong.

Rationality:

That's when your entire body is aching and your legs go numb. There is a strain within your muscles. You're breathing heavily and you're questioning how much more you can push yourself before you hear something. Then, there's a blood rush and before you know it there's a sharp pain.

YOU SHOULD HAVE STOPPED BEFORE IT HAPPENED.

It's not about how much your mind can tolerate the pain.

It's about how much you're willing to push yourself to the threshold.

And not beyond it.

Injuries. It's not what you want.

Draw the line.

She was right,

I haven't been sleeping right/well.

And she told me I'm an anomaly.

But she said it in such a good way.

I'm tired.

From everything.

And she gave me the green light to take a break.

I just need to, admit it.

With love, over lifehouse.

Wanted to catch a movie this weekend but havnt found the time :(
I've yet to watch 500days!
Caught julie&julia last week, which was pretty good, though a little draggy & wordy at some pt.
Plus breakf @ thomson bcm after so long (:
This weekend was just touch and books.
Abrasions from touch are so bad I can't sit properly cos it hurts when it comes in contact with anyth :(

Craved for sashimi ystday (and satisfied it) and am now craving for bkt v v v v badly! :(
Had dessert with the roomie after getting abit of work done..

Am really worn out from fitness and proj meetings all week, i'm capable of falling asleep anywhere, everywhere.

An extremely disjointed entry cos my brain's in hibernating mode.

Eggy Achy.

This morning when I got rudely awaken by people cutting grass outside our window,

(surprisingly all the sms-es couldn't wake me up cos I was D-E-A-D tired)

I thought my calves couldn't support my weight anymore.

I wonder how tomorrow will be.

:(

Plus, another late night thanks to 05 project. Fucking report, please burn in my Professors' hands and transform into a B+ (I don't ask for too much) on our transcript.

Withering.

PLEASE, let this be the finalest-finalised-latest-updatedest copy of the report.

I am dying and I don't want to edit it twice thrice frice too many times anymore.

:(

PS: Today I had McFlurry AND BubbleT. My friends love me and I'm going to die from the sugar overdose.

Everything.

Ooooh, I just editted my googlechrome layout and it's so pretty now(:

Am still at the estudio having meeting (but I've been rather productive and am not doing anything for the past hour or so...)

Probably not going to head to bed by 4am, but sleep is definitely possible! (:

Freaking blogger takes forever to upload pictures. >=(

In Act.

Today I was ultimate mean girl at training.

I kt stared at some freshie. :(

PS: Currently at meeting in the school's 24hours estudio.

Ultimate siansation and sadness cos I would really rather be in bed. :(

@lt06

I learn so much about failure I think I'm gonna be a failure.

SUGARFAIRY

[edited]

Friday: Koi & Strawberry Cheesecake from Ben&Jerry's

Saturday: Island C.reamery & Dessert after dinner (chomps!)

Sunday: Island C.reamery from my own pint!

Monday: Poh Poh Char (as Haha would say it)

Tuesday: Ice cream @ JayBee (damn lousy though)

CAN DIEEEE.

SWEET TOOTH
SUGAR OVERLOAD

Life This Week

• Video review on Monday followed by Team dinner at HV. All 14 of us were also officially "dropped from the IVPee team" as of then.
• Lotsa studying involved for the big 40% test that just happened today
• Skipped school on Tuesday (except Tutorial) and made the Baby come over to accompany me study. (I had to entice her with Snow Ice)
• The annual iyg capt's ball on Tues night: too many teams pulled out, so we won (again) but it wasn't as fun :(
• Decided to give training on Wednesday (since there was much to cover AND it thunderstormed before that) a miss but went down to settle log anyway.
• HallIdol took place just downstairs so I couldn't study in the room (!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
• I know I've lotsa things to do but I need a break from the intensive 3001 studying (because I was semi last minute. Sobs)
• Was super hungry and craving for Icecream but thanks S for the yummiest pigsorgan soup every (though I don't eat pigs organ)
• Currently on repeat: Give by Dishwalla. (:

How to Fall Asleep At Work Without Getting Caught

A says:
*you know yesterday i v tired
*then i scared sleep on table people can see
*so i hide under the table haha

I say:
*hahahah how you hide under the table?
*you damn good

A says:
*haha
*i touch my toes
*then sleep

I say:
*dont bluff

A says:

*really
*i sit on the chair
*then i bend over then i go under the table haha
*i was thinking if i should just sit on the floor and sleep haha
*but too kz already

Don't let dependence deceive you.

It's not love.

Picture Post!

#1: Saturday; With The NUSBFF at S.UniG dinner

#2: Team (without Jeannette) @ S.UniG dinner

#3: Monday; XLB Buffet madness

#4: How-to-eat-a-XLB

#5: Team (without Sijie, Vally, Haha) @ XLB Buffet

#6: Coverboyyy

#7: Tuesday; Spikey and a plastic heart folded from straws

Everything can't upload pictures.

Blogger, Facebook and Twit.

Shall just study then.

NO MORE NEGATIVE EXPERIENCES. HAHAHA

I SAY:
*small better la
*so peaceful

SHE SAYS:
*hahaha now peaceful, only quarrels are quarrels over food

-----

And indeed, Team dinner was funfunfun but fullfullfull!

=))

Just Like Rainbows

Well, if you haven't already heard, exactly a week ago, we were defeated.
Yes, we lost S.unig and we took home a silver medal last night.
First, and hopefully the last.

It was painful and hard to accept but we can only look ahead and prepare ourselves for the challenges ahead.
So. Cheesy. But. True.

In preparation for S.unig we actually had a couple of friendlies of which we really did kick ass. Just three days before the actual compy we played rpee boys and actually won the first 15 mins 3-1. =) Pretty damn proud of ourselves and I know we are capable of so much more.

Fear always gets in the way, be it INTIMIDATION or basically just the fear of failure.
We just have to overcome it- it's a mind game.

So last night wrapped up this disappointing season- we laughed over the lack of goodlooking boys, over the idea of girl-on-girl, over sensitive weight issues (skinny sitting next to fatty), and had a good time sharing food and taking pictures. =)


And I practically spent my recess week solely doing Touch related stuff and learning about risk in two consecutive days. Need to catch up on lotsa work now! :(
I also caught Uglytruth(: which was really awesome.

And the 7days that just passed were basically spent on getting over our loss, picking ourselves up again, (trying to) pay attention in school, doing assignments and projects and setting our lives back in order, for mine is sure messed up.

Spent Mon night with Jiels and Jeannette over indianfood (yums) after which Jiels and I detoured to M.SElab to get some work done! I still believe it was a bad choice cos she was so fascinated and distracted with our kickass facilities. Tsktsk (:

Finally got a call from I.mre for interview on Tuesday morning(:
And thanks Jiel for going home to get formal pants for meee! *road rice love!

Felt awfully sick on Wednesday- the no-mood-to-think-no-strength-to-chew kinda mood so I didn't have much lunch but thank you CARAMEL(!) for the bakerzin cakes. =)
Trained with the newbies later in the day and am very proud of baby who scored many many =) We were also made to run 22minutes non stop in weird and nonsensical shapes and orders.

Rushed home and woke up bright and early on Thursday for the interview.
Of course, not forgetting I sprayed my hair BLACK. (which led to lotsa funny reactions, I wonder why) Anyhow the interview was kinda awkward, cos she asked really funny questions and she was really awkward which made me feel really awkward too, so hmm. But it was nice to meet a familiar face in a completely unfamiliar environment (+condescending receptionist! tsk) so good thing I met Choonyeow and we grabbed lunch before heading back to school.

Took me close to 3 washes the first time to get most of the hardened hair spray out and spent the rest of the day catching up on sleep, then heading to class. 05 meeting after which then... the much anticipated XLB BUFFET with the jc pallies. (:
Our steamboat had "themes" each time the food was served- Meat pot, vegetarian pot, Mushroom pot, etc.
We ate til we could pop(: Spontaneously decided to walk back to hall from Pioneer station which took me longer than expected and left my legs more tired than they'd been in a while.. Hmmmmm.
Friday was.. Friday. Had home hall cooked pasta and steak for lunch. Yummy Yummy. And a personal escort from lesson to hall and back to lessons again. Aww(:
My very lovin parents came to pick me up cos I was dying. :(


Today; we played together with P.ollypockets as Trans.formers in rainbow jerseys(:
The rainbow on the jersey really makes one feel happier cos of the colours. SERIOUSLY.
Anyhoo, we had a good fun time even though I barely knew half the team but they're a great bunch of people (and players). The only highlight of the event was the finals- we wasted lotsa time due to injuries (ouch :( poor Siti dislocated her elbow) so it was a draw 1-1 on the horn. We scored during sudden death within the first 6 touches and then opponent scored back at us within their first 6 touches. We had lotsa opportunities after that but just couldn't finish it. :( So we lost in the end, but it was still really fun. =)

Am now sunkissed and really tired. Lotsa work to dooo so I'm gonna give my first Road Relay training later a miss. Heh


Here's to a better week ahead; with more team love, birthdays and buffet to come!

I am still

Awake.

Really tired from the long day.

But really haunted and disturbed.

Mistakes We Knew We Were Making

We made plans to be unbreakable,
Love was all we knew.
No insurance for the unthinkable,
Blindly get us through.
We've been searching for a lifetime,
Short as it may seem.
Riding on the fumes that spark us,
While igniting dreams.


Driving in the rain to the hospital,
Quiet aches intense,
What at once just seemed the impossible,
Now makes perfect sense.
We held hands to face the uncomfortable cold,
And lonely room.
Magazines and empty distractions
Barely got us through.


And when we try to think of the life inside,
We found ourselves looking at the world through new eyes.
What can now be said?
Oh, little one on the other side.
Dance until the band stops playing,
Sing with all your might.

Mistakes we knew we were making.
Mistakes we knew we were making.
Don't think about chances we're taking,
Don't think about rules we were breaking.
Mistakes we knew...

The list goes on and on.

--Mae.

-

If there's one thing I learnt today,

it's how there is never really a person who understands you fully.

People have shared about their perceptions of me, and they vary.

Although some go along the same lines but there is always that one or two that differs.

It's not that they don't understand me well enough, but they are just little parts that make the complete me.

I guess it's how much I choose to reveal about myself to the person involved.

Maybe I never want to show you my weak side,

maybe I'm emotionally dependent on you and show only my lowest moments,

maybe I'm wary and build up my defense.

But ultimately, there is always only one person who knows you best.

And that person is no one, but yourself.

Thinking too much makes me nauseous.

I need an escape.

I think I injured my elbow.

Or I think I need those padding for my elbow when I have to sit down and type for hours.

They hurt after many hours doing 3002. :(

Coach once taught us to control our heartbeats so we can calm ourselves down in time of anxiety.

My heart is racing.

And it will not stop.

-I don't know why.

I don't want to wait any longer.

Like I said: It's never gonna end and I just can't keep up with it.

And your best reply is "I know it's hard."

Talk is not cheap. It is free. Convince me, but I know you won't.

How long, how often do you want me to wait?

post heart-break.

I am getting really really really excited...

*channel to positive energy channel to positive energy channel to positive energy !*