Down.

I'm sorry I always let you down. :(

See you after 10 December.

Seventh Dec.

Two papers down(:

Three more to go.

Am almost half way there, but the most dreadful paper is over.

Didn't have the best of a start to the exams marathon but I'm glad I've finally started.

And a long way to go before the end.

Have finally fallen sick and spent half of ystday in bed to nurse the headache and flu. Boohooo.

Still feeling woozy and out of place today despite taking a nap.

Thought EK's call was my alarm and accidentally rejected it.

I only have 4 days to study 2 modules (an elective and 1 4AU core paper) so I should not be rewarding myself with too long a break like my peers are.

:(

So long.

Bella.

I am...

panic attacking for the second time for Wednesday's paper.

BUT : I have a paper tomorrow so there should be no reason for me to neglect it.

S says I should stop thinking about it so I've kept all the notes, past year papers, tutorials, and everything that reminds me of Advanced Materials Processing in a file and hid it under my table.

Spent the weekend in hall, except Friday night and the first half of Saturday.

Surprised Seef over breakf with the other 4 of Bao (sorry you couldn't be there Sheryl!) to celebrate her 21st one day early. (:

So I'm finally starting exams tomorrow! (: About time, when people around me are beginning to E-N-D. :( 7dec sounds so far away, but shall not complain about the time I have on hand to use for revision! (:

Need to go for a run soon. Getting oversized.

I am falling sick.

All this time.

Life is points:

• had a durian party in my room last week, stank up the whole place and the toilet and attracted a mother huge flying cockroach. plus we also wasted the whole night
  
• a weekend with no touch (whee!) but lotsa penanglove from grandma
• slacked it away mostly too
• headed down to town on sat night to catch the christmas light ups!
• surprised zi at midnight for her 21st and
• met KIWI! who looks like a stuffed toy. and taught her to jump out of her cage
• studied with penguin on sunday
• sent grandma off back to malaysiaaa on monday :(
• met alfie laoda nusbff on TUES (!) for lunch where xp overslept
• but thanks birdnuts for accompanying me
• and then i sprained my ankle :( :( :(
• and now i can't walk properly.
• had 02 consultation earlier this afternoon
• and i'm kkkkkkkonfused to the max.
• am gonna grow fat with all the food on my table despite eating dinner earlier on: oyster mee sua, bubble tea with pearls and jelly (where's my koi?! :( )
• shall attempt abstaining from fb/blogger/tweet for a while now.
• if you wanna look for me, you know where to find me. @philooos.
• need to catch up in my race against time.

Blame it on the changes

Friday, the 13th.

Everything happens for a reason.

Thought I'd meet the Bestie for supper so I didn't want to ask the CarameloFrappo to accompany me study so I didn't go down to study cos I don't like being alone. So I came online to get some company and listen to music and do work in Brother's room.

Company: checked.
Music: checked.
Do work: Unchecked.

Not only did I not get any work done, I also dug my own pathway to find my own grave.
If only something which happened in the previous string of events didn't occur I wouldn't be where I am now.
You're not the only one who knows how to avoid and run away from reality you don't want to face,
so do I. I just don't cos it comes back to haunt you anyway.


So this tallies with how I feel tonight:

I never needed you to be strong
I never needed you for pointing out my wrongs
I never needed pain, I never needed strain
My love for you was strong enough, you should have known

I never needed you for judgements
I never needed you to question what I spent
I never asked for help, I take care of myself
I don't know why you think you gotta hold on me

And it's a little late for conversations
There isn't anything for you to say
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver,
So look at me and listen to me
Because

I don't want to stay another minute
I don't want you
to say a single word
Hush hush, hush hush
There is no other way, I get
the final say because
I don't want to do this any longer
I don't want you, there's nothing left to say
Hush hush, hush hush
I've already spoken, our love is broken
Baby hush hush

I never needed your corrections
On everything from how I act to what I say
I never needed words, I never needed hurt
I never needed you to be there every day

I'm sorry for the way I let go
On everything I wanted when you came
along
But I ain't never beatin', broken not defeated
I know next to you
is not where I belong

What a wet Friday the 13th.
Didn't realise it til G mentioned it halfway into the day.

Closure

End of Winter League 2009.

Time to retire my boots and embrace the books.

its so cold im getting goosebumps

and my womb is contracting. :(

Relak One Corner.

Today, I'm gonna talk about two things:

1. Love
2. Bimbotic Moments

Ok firstly: Love.

It's constantly on the tip of our tongue. Just over supper last Friday, Mamadao was sharing how her friend told her she rather love her other half more than he loves her.

That's cos you can't choose who to love you, but you can choose who to love.

Which is a very self sacrificial thinking in my opinion. Definitely not something wrong with that thinking, but how often do you hear that?

Which reminded me about what I read weeks back on FML:

"The man who loves me the most, the man I love, and my husband are 3 completely different people."

Sometimes routine, and dependence just leads to the skewed conception of love. It's scary how you've become so accustomed and used to things that you're unwilling to break apart from it though you may not happy.

------------------------------------------

The second thing: about Bimbo moments.

Ok for the sake of everybody, I shall leave it anonymous.

Today, we were talking about the Monopolygame thingy happening at Macs and how there is only 1 SentosaCove available (which allows you to win 50 000$!)

So person A was saying how we can actually sell the title deed and make a profit out of it.

Initially we thought of selling it for $51 000 (and earning $1) and somehow agreed that the profits should be split evenly instead.

Then later a sensible person turned around to ask why we would sell it for $25 000 when the MarinaBay deed was so easily obtainable.

Then we tried very hard to reason him out ........

until we realised we were so so stupid.

Cos since MarinaBay was easily obtainable, you can keep the Sentosacove deed for yourself and claim all 50k instead of splitting it into half with a total stranger.

Haha. We laughed so hard somebody turned as red as a tomato and teared. =)

G: you missed this. Haha

~

Thank you Baby, the cookies are yummehlicious! (:

Now, back to the books.

But tell me how do I get started?

PPS: The terrapin is returned to its owner :( Byebye Ji Lucky!

Goodbye 3005!

Life is.......

hectic these days. I barely get to pause and think about stuff.

Last week, I spent the first half of every day interacting with kids almost a decade younger than me. From tag rubgy, to bowling, rock climbing, vulgarities, flying punches to the face, playing truant ; I have seen almost everything.

Ek and I laugh it off after each day, and we feel really old. Almost 10 years older, yet among them we feel their age. It's like, we've never really grown out of our teenage years..

Rock climbing was super fun though! I climbed til I ached so bad after that. I couldn't write cos my arms were trembling (slightly) so yes, hats off to Ms. KWANJIELING. You're my ouxiang! (: Haha

Over the weekends, I also had two consecutive nights of Steamboat for dinner which was shiok beyond words since the weather was c-c-c-old. (:

After steamboat on Sat with Arthur & Mal, we caught Sister'sKeeper which was really quite sad..... We all expected to cry but the two boys didn't. I didn't cry as much as I thought I would too.

And FRIDAY! Friday was an impromptu supper with Mamadao and nuer dearest! We headed down to C.heesecake cafe then to upperchangi road for some awesome bcm meesua. We talked about life and reminisced about the past (as usual). We also talked about our future, and how the flavour of the cheesecake we ordered reflected our lives............

Wasted my entire weekend on Touch too. :( We had two games on Saturday. One was good, one was way way way below standard. But we were truly worn out by the end of the day. Then Sunday again at Turf for a Day Nat Training Camp. :\ Headed down with fishy. (:

So yes, no work completed over the weekend, thus leaving me with

• Presentation slides
• Presentation Rehearsal
• Sound quiz
• 3007 quiz
• 3002 assignment
• 3007 webcast from Friday
• Tutorials

left undone. It's midweek today and I'm glad half of the above is over. (:

Presentation today was all right; it wasn't awesome. But Q&A was terrible. We couldn't answer a question and were sent back to "do your readings". SIGH.

Sounds was harder than expected: "List 3 journals"

Even the frantic flipping of my notes whenever possible didn't help. The answers aren't even there. -_-

For now, I can finally take a deep breath before I start again.

Need to prepare for another hectic week(end) ahead juggling Touch, Arthur's farewell, and studies.

3 tests next week.

And exams in two weeks.

I. Am. So. Dead.

PS: My neighbours found a baby terrapin outside their room last night!

The Bus Number's Driver.

Hello! It's November!

October passed too quickly I can't even remember how I passed the 31days.

That being said, life's been picking up too quickly,

it's a race against time.

It's hectic and I'm going crazy juggling everything and yes,

it explains the incoherence in my speech and frequent tongue tied incidents.

Save me. I'm sleepy from the weekends. (Of which I did zilch academically. I should be suicidal)