It's You and Me Against The Rest of The World.

" you turned to me and said,

"i'll be going through withdrawal of you 

for this one night we have spent."

and, i want to speak these words

but i guess i'll just bite my tongue,

and accept "someday, somehow"

as the words that we'll hang from. "

Because They just won't understand it.

"Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole."

When You Lose Something You Cannot Replace.

3 words, 8 letters.

I had meant it to be something else another person should be saying to me.

But today I realised, it probably serves as a reminder to myself,

that I should be saying, "I am sorry." to you.

For the awkward silences, unexpected hostility,

unintended twist of attitudes.

We I should handle it maturely. :]

The Best Of Both Worlds, Never.

We never learn, despite history.

Adam and Eve: It was a forbidden fruit but they took it anyhow.

Why is it we always do things we were told not to?

-----------------------------------

Anyway with all the flowers and heart-shaped balloons around school lately,

I just wanted to say.

I hate the commercialised idea of Vday.

Why are we stupid enough to allow florists and eateries to rip the shit out of us?

But then again, it's really sweet and heartwarming how the people around me are busy planning (and panicking) to make sure the day turns out perfect for them and their beloved. (:

Sooo, happy vday anyway!

There's a list of people I want to dedicate shoutouts to, but nvm. Haha

Pictures Cos Too Lazy To Blog

Am I supposed to be happy?

All I ever wanted, comes with a price.

****

Romeo save me - they're tryin' to tell me how to feel;
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a love story - baby just say "Yes.'"

I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town,

And I said,
"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in thy head? I don't know what to think-"

Could Haves.

Like a drug,

You know it's bad for you, yet you keep craving for more.

You know it's dire consequences, yet it's attraction is greater than before.

Like morphine,

you become numb,

you become addicted,

you become dependent.

And then you lose yourself,

as if you never saw it coming.

It Hurts, But It May Be The Only Way.

Have you ever had a song that will make you tear no matter when, no matter why?

Doesn't matter what you've gone through, when the song plays, it just activates your tear glands?

I do.

And in just 3 days over this week, I've seen Love from different perspectives, defined by different individuals. I always thought Love was the same to everyone, the same warmfuzzy feeling, the same way it makes everyone's heart skip a beat, the same things we say, the same things we do.

But no, that's not how it works.

And last night, at M. We lost ourselves. It was insane and we had more people toppling than standing. We toasted to good times, to the uncertain future. While I requested to be convinced. We relived moments we missed, tasted times we almost had but never did.

It was dark, it was wet. It was a mess, everything was spinning, but there was one thing I was so sure about....

Yet you made me doubt myself this morning.

And He Said,

"I wouldn't say you made the wrong choice. But there are just better choices."

Wonder, _ _ _ .

Tonight was spent planning for FOC, followed by a carbo-loaded dinner at Broadway (Puri! (: ) with the Bestest Bud in Hall, my Favourite (exex) Hall Queen and Favourite An.ouka senior,

then a trip down to Jpee to grocery shop with the Bestest Bud.

Plus, my starbucks fix(: Headed back to watch Hockey finals, and history repeat.

Penalty flicks are cursed, and my heart bleeds for you.

I am still sorry there is nothing else I can do, but I am here for you. :( :( :(

On the way back to 1301, I found myself stopping by 1305, where 3 of us become 4, then 6 and lightened up a broken soul. (:

The (ex)roomie, who is still deeply loved, popped by after and it was 1am after I showered.

Late, and 830am class tomorrow. Long night following that.

IAMFINALLYSIGNEDIN.

IVPee 08/09.

It was definitely awesome, with a few bad games here and there. I never really got to embrace the victory when it happened. I had to force myself to get over it to prepare for NZ.

Saturday, after Wan.toks, we gathered at the Mighty Capt's place to review our videos. And it was there, we relived the moment. Though we already knew the results, my heart still palpitated every time Rpee scored, everytime a (clear) touchdown was denied. I am still semi in shock how touchdowns were overuled as a dropball, or even a forward pass.

More importantly, I was AMAZED (and amused) with the noise in the background. All that negative talk. All the jeering everything we broke through, all the cheering everytime we fumbled. But as she said, "Everybody hates Winners." and the Trophy's still ours.

Back to school for now. Apart from all the catching up, sleeping in class, and copying, we still have our classic conversations:

Yesterday,

"Do you think they will last?"

"L-U-S-T, lust?"

"No, I'm not W****, I do not have problems with my grammer."

"No, I think you haven't completed your sentence. You mean 'Do you think they will lUst... for each other?' "

"Hahahahaha. Since when did you become so smart."

Oh yes, and my boyf gave me permission to cheat on him for 2 weeks with a girl. HAHA. 

Ninety Five.

With every step back I take,
it takes me a larger step forward, unknowingly.

I pull myself away yet I've found myself drawn closer.
Like creepers on a tree;
inevitably intertwined, mutually dependent.

And this scares me.
The entanglement, the dependence.
Because I'm not supposed to.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.


Another piece of good news today.
I am really honoured.

Smelly black tofu.

First day back at school after ...... almost a month.

Feels reallyreally funny and awkward, still disorientated, I told G I felt like a Freshie in a complete foreign land.

Give Me One More CNY Holidayyyy

SO FUCKING TIRED,

and still disorientated,

if any consolation, I STILL HAVE FRIENDS!!!!

Simply because everybody was helping me find an access card (and unfortunately, bugged the same person).

Ok, really awesome and loved(:

Still feel like shit though. BOO SCHOOL.

An Angsty 1000th Post.

Fucking found another 100 reasons to fucking hate schooooooooooooooool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Will You Still Love Me In The Morning?

This New Year,

I remember waking early to grab two McD. breakfast sets, and cabbing down for a surprise.

It wasn't long ago, we played monopoly and ate pizza til late. Then had more food; like prata and popped by Jul's where I was greeted with a shot of Baileys.

Last Chinese New Year,

It was reunion as usual, and supposedly, a Zouktrip to "shou ye" but I can't remember what held me back.

But that was what led to an impromptu supper, driving from place to place across Singapore because every other eatery was closed.

This Chinese New Year, I wonder how it'd be.

Not like I'm a big fan of the angbaos (but undoubtedly the pineapple tarts. Hah!) and the visiting.

"If got time, shall we supper again?"

Time is not the issue here, if you haven't already realised.

And well, to shake off the extra kilos I know I'll gain, I went for a run today(:

From my place down to S'. I don't know how far that is, but it was a good run (after so long).

Don't Care Where It Ends, It Doesn't Matter Now.

Woke earlyearly again this morning despite sleeping at 3. :(

I don't really have much to do without my notes nor updated online lectures.

Seriously dread going back to school but I should just STOP whinging already.

The first day after landing back in Sg was pretty awesome too(:

It made homecoming easier to accept, hah!

Met l.shit for our typical lunch-at-Central catchups, and we grocery shopped for Mom and he witnessed my ugliest hair yet. :(

Well, I wanted to trim it cos it was getting messy.. but it just got out of control.

And the hairdresser snipped my fringe, like :O .

And she kept trying to salvage it which got worse, and my face just got blacker with every snip. :@ Boohoo

Accompanied D* to cny-shop, but I think I shopped more. Knowing I might give in to temptations, I made a list of things I can buy, which were: Tights and Shoes.

And I got both. :$ But well ok, at least I didn't get more than what I need so it's good right? (:

And we soup spoon-ed! Yay, ok favourite + it's healthy (low carb) and it does not taste like puke Art.hurlim! :(

But the ultimate purpose of D getting her cny clothes was also achieved, so yay, it was a very fulfilling meeting.

PS: I found my new psyche up song!

PPS: My house smells like pineapple cookies, yum! This is the reason to love cny! 

The Beginning and The End.

No updated online lectures = cannot catch up on work.

Hence I went shopping = spend another 80$ excluding my hair cut.

Of which was so bad, I wanted to burn the hairdresser. 

WHICH led to me in a cap today hiding my hideous hair (wah alliteration!)

And my heels hurt from too much walking in slippers so no more slippers. (:

I seriously need a sugar daddy (heehee) and a normal functioning brain cos it is currently disjointed and disorientated.

COME ON, GOOD KARMA

y*:
sure got a lot of gossip right?

y*:

excited excited
haha

p*:
yeah man
must accumulate good karma first

y*:
lol
ok, tml i'll help u put 5 cents into the macdonalds donation box
LOL

p*:
HAHAHAHAHAHA OK

City Of Sails.

Well, I had to write a summary of the trip for Wan.toks,

so I shall just cnp the email here, as my blog post. Hahah.

------------------------------------------

Hi Wan.toks! The Baby-toks are back from NZ! (:
It's a really beautiful place, the people are soo friendly and welcoming, and all of us enjoyed our stay there!

Sooo, we were gone for 10 days, of which we spent 2 travelling,
and played some pretty awesome touch almost every day we were in NZ!
The first 4 days were the Y.outh World Ch.allenge where we met with teams from NZ, Australia and South Africa.
We played both U20s and U18s, and lost pretty miserably, BUT we all felt the trip was still enriching, cos we learnt something from every team.
Each team we played with was very impressive, especially the Aussie teams, who were disciplined and structured, yet knew when to break away from it to play what's in front of them. We also met with an Australian coach, Carly, who gave us feedback on our game, and taught us new dirty tricks (heh heh).

For the Women's U20s team, our closest match was with South Africa's U18s (9-6), where we really stepped up our game. We started executing our moves properly, dummy-scooping, and playing their weakness to our advantage.

We also watched more impressive touch, between Australia and NZ, where we wow-ed and gasp-ed at their perfect long passes and diving techniques. Some games involved fights (like an NZ girl wanting to punch an Aussie guy), most games involved tension, and one Mens game was especially exciting when NZ played with only 5 men for almost the entire game (yet they had a rather good strong defence).
Why? Because, during an interception by an Aussie guy, an NZ guy ran to the sub box so that another sub could run out from the other end of the box, gaining 20m advantage, and catching up with the Aussie guy.
The ref gave the penalty touchdown, sent the NZ guy off, hence they played with only 5 for the rest of the game.


After the 4-day tournament, we moved on to play their clubs, who were also really good. Then we discovered their secret, which was to start playing young. Some of them start from as early as 8 years old, and some of the girls we played at the club side were only 12 (and already good at the game!)

We also ice dip every night in the already freezing wind, and wear our skins after every game (thanks Wantoks for the skins, again! We all love it and needed it). We carbo load everyday (potatoes, bread, pasta, :s) and don't sleep enough (sleep about 11 something, wake up at 6).
We've also had lotsa injuries (sprained thumb, pulled hamstring, injured knee/shoulder/ankle) but were very well taken care of by the physios upstairs.

We also shopped til we dropped, where some ran like they never did before to an Adidas store about 200m away to get a visor for $10,
some bungy-ed (like Anne who refused to return to SG to say she chicken-ed out so she jumped anyway),
and all of us made friends with the people there.

But overall, in this trip, we definitely bonded, learnt something new about each other and about the sport. And in my opinion, the most important thing we took back from this trip is, that in this game of Touch, trusting the person next to you on the field, and having confidence with the person on the other end beats any fancy moves, or individual flair.


Ok, really long email. But NZ WAS AWESOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (:

-----------------------------------------------

And stuff to add on my own,

On the first day of the Tourney, I hurt my thumb again, went for physio then x-ray, cos it was suspected fracture (and I was so scared :( )

But the results came the next day and no fracture, so thankGod ((:

Subsequently, every game I play, my right hand is severely taped like a cast. Quite funny(: but it felt more secure.

And and and, the skies in Auck.land are soooo beautiful. They are filled with stars like those you see in the movies and never think exist. (: It is an absolutely beautiful sight(:

And I Missed You.

Now that I'm home, I reallyreallyreally don't feel like travelling all the way back to B.oonlay and waking up early to attend lessons, nor cleaning up my room which has been left vacant for almost two weeks, and start training again.

My only regret of the trip is:

-- not diving (I don't think I really had to at any pt anyway) and leaving Auckland scars on myself,

-- not taking a picture with everybody (especially the Mixed),

-- (maybe) not taking enough pictures,

-- no money no time (no love) quoteunquote Al.

Now, all I want to do is, shop shop shop (in NZ) and eat (but less potatoes) and hang around my friends (without the studying or paying attention in class factor).

Lotsa catching up to do! Both with work, and friends.

Eggcited But Scared.

OMG MY THUMB/PALM IS FUCKING GROSS.

It looks like a chicken drumstick/pregnant fish/pigeon leg.

Yeah you get the idea. Gross shit.

And I was forced to train in slippers and a swollen thumb yesterday.

@$)(%^*$%^&^%&*^&

But S's birthday surprise went pretty ohhhkayy considering the few hiccups,

and we couldn't prawn cos it was damn crowded :( But nvm, next time.

Here I am now, sipping Peach Red Tea with Pearls AND Jelly so I get quite a mouthful each 'sip', with less than 24 hours to go. :( Back to packing, then I guess? SULKS

PS: My jersey is too big for me but I got my 11 so who cares :D

NO MERCY

IVP CHAMPS, BABY! 

(and a sprained thumb, again. GRRR)

ARTICLE LINKS:

US & Spee

FINALS

Finals

KILL GAS AH

I Am Not A Fucking Mind Reader.

People always say, how things change overnight.
But you know what- you don't need nights, not even hours.
You just need seconds; split seconds.

It is that split second you make the decision,
be it to pass that ball to score a touchdown,
or a split second too slow to catch the ball when it is thrown.
And of course, the split second decision to hit the send/call button.

-----------------------------

Anyhoo, been pretty preoccupied with everything apart from school.
Except Today, I had to run a Vertical Marathon going up and down from door to door looking for relevant Profs / Person-in-Charge to get my EXTREMELY last minute leave application from school approved.


Skipped school yesterday to do some shopping, and catch up with Yanns, my dearest. (:
We were stopped couple of times along Orchard, and the funniest was when we were approached by some Ok.to Tv Crew. So yeah, we're gonna appear on Ok.to (I really hope we don't actually, cos we were severely underdressed).


Next. IVPee, which feels like it just started yet it is ending tomorrow already.
With an unexpected twist of fate, we are playing Rpee again.
Feeling super egggcited(:

And off to NZ 12-22 January. :(

Too Fast, Too Furious.

So much much much has been happening,

I find myself unable to sit down and organise my thoughts, my events, my Things-to-Do.

All of such are scribbled over scraps of paper, slipped into my (purple, omg) organiser.

Now everytime, I've a vague memory of something I'm supposed to be doing, I've to look through a mess of illegible handwriting to remember.

Argh.

MY SKINS HAVE A FUCKING HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ='(

HELLO THIRTEEN.

Never thought it'd be this fucking hard,

and awkward, but we all must get use to changes anyway right?

I am way past my bedtime for my first lesson of the first day of school tomorrow : 830am.

ZZZZ

But before I head to bed, [[LINK]]

S'pore in touch foot.ball tourney

Sat, Jan 03, 2009 The Str.aits Times

By Jon.athan Wong TOUCH Foot.ball Sing.apore (TFS) will be sending two teams for the first  time to compete in the Youth Trans Tasman Tou.ch Series  in New Zealand. It will be held at the Trusts Stadium, Wai.takere, Auckland,  from Jan 14 to 17. Originally planned as the 2009 Youth Wo.rld Cup,  the tournament was cancelled by organisers  because of financial difficulties.  It was eventually reinstated under a new name.

It Waits For No One.

I knew time flies,

and I knew it would all happen fast.

But I didn't know "fast" meant quicker than the speed of light.

School is starting tomorrow, and I still feel like it's Mid-dec.

As much as training five, six times a week drains every single bit of me,

and I whine about it quite a bit, I really (definitely) prefer trainings to school.

First week of school, last week of IVP.

And then I'm whizzed to NZ. Before I can even realise it.

Feels really surreal.

:( And I'm shifting back to 13 tonight,

without an access card. How brilliant.

Gawd, it's all happening to fast.

BlockHead

Suddenly feel overwhelmed with the countless things on hand to settle.

:(

Dental yesterday was somehow amusing, so I got my tooth filled and teeth scaled.

Now my upper retainers don't fit right and my teeth are allll aaaccchhhinnnggg :(

Andddd I didn't get any electives this sem so I gotta fight with the crowd during Add/Drop, which, I won't be available cos it's Ivpeee! :(

But anyhooooo, please remind me:

Year 2 (all programmes)

Mon, 5 Jan 2009 (4.00 pm – 6.45 pm)

Tues, 6 Jan 2009 – Sun, 18 Jan 2009 (10.00 am - 10.00 pm)

----------------

Grr! :(

And I shifted out of TWO already. Gonna miss the huge ass Single Room and its convenience. :( Not forgetting the really sweet toilety mate.

Glad Tidings.

Caught the MONSTER flu bug, it's soooo bad it leaks uncontrollably. :(

And now I've abrasions at the sides of my nose from the blowing and wiping.

Can barely sleep well the past two nights cos it's so uncomfortable :(

Was literally dying with my tissue box in the graveyard style Nightmare-before-Christmas tissue holder next to me and a small dustbin next to it.

My bed is a germ-zone.

-------

Results came out earlier today (while I was trying to sleep in bed), and praise the Lord for his abundant blessings! :D

It was definitely better than expected!

Now, all I need to focus on is getting well before IV.P!!!

Empty Conversations.

Repetition makes an impression,

but monotony is mundane.

Yet, we as human, are accustomed to our routines.

Or a certain set of procedure to get through the days.

A break from monotony may be like a short holiday after the school term,

yet it may not always be ideal.

My life is the biggest irony; one day I'm complaining about the monotony,

and today I sit here, uncomfortable about breaking away from my weekly routine.

But this is life, isn't it? That we are human, and can never be sufficiently satisfied.

Something you want, will no longer be of that similar importance once it's yours.

And to a certain degree, we all take each other for granted.

There is no such thing as, "let me be your pillar of strength",

because if you were to be, then where do you draw yours from.

Feeling so sick I skipped Youth training today.

Shall sleep this negative feeling away. (Not before I visit the T.opshop warehouse sale! :D Nothing beats retail therapy, yo!)

PS: I am not materialistic and I don't need you to spend to make it up to me. 

4 days to 2009.

Hello to High and Dry.

You know how there's this odd woozy feeling everytime you're sick?

Where day feels like night, and night feels like ... night (too)?

Yeah, I'm having that odd feeling now.

The throat's been awfully uncomfortable since I woke up yesterday, and it still is.

Argh, of all time. Ivpee in 6 days. >=(

Anyhow, made a trip down to Queensway ystday and picked up Team Shirts since I was there.

Had dingtaifung's porkchop fried rice packed with a secret XLB (and love!) for lunch, thankyou(: It was very sweet of you.

Then, because of the throat, we had Porridge buffet at Quality H.otel after training. And no movie timings again.

PS: Paying for NZ is a big headache. :(

PPS: Four days left in TWO before going back to THIRTEEN. Bittersweet, but it may just be for the better.

You are the Reason for the Season.

Really lazy to upload pictures,

and I realised I took ZERO pictures this Christmas :(

Caught Twilight on Friday with S and the Sonny after dinner at HotpotCulture (we ate til we couldn't walk).

Saturday; we went for Social touch, which turned out to be an hour of training first. :| Gift exchange shopped thereafter(:

Sunday; youth training as always. Then an impromptu team lunch (about six of us only though) at Al.ameen. Then I fell asleep after showering when we were supposed to go.. shopping (?).

Monday; friendly with the SPee boys. Then IS, which we already missed. Had lunch over video session then gift exchange! :D Then Team BBQ which went pretty well... 

Only problem: I stupidly left the mashmellows by my window (with the blinds up) so they were melted already :( Haha, dumb.

Then S popped by with some Dark Cherry Mocha from Starbucks while we were cleaining up :D

Tuesday; watched the finals of IS in the rain/sun , and a teeny bit of IH Badminton. (: Lunched with G my favourite bxtch/slxt (haha internal joke) before leaving for youth friendly, which sucked so much (refer to Do or Die, Swim or Sink). Omg, everything was so bad except for Laoda giving us each a Mars bar, and my self proclaimed fan club coming down to support me. (XOXOXOXO!) Oh, and of course dinner together. (:

Wednesday; heavy rain = no training. WHEEHEE. So we left for town for more shopping. Soup spooned. Attended mass for the second time in my entire life, then crashed some party (and saw Ronald.Susilo but no big deal, really).

Thursday; Christmas Service in the morning! Indian food for lunch with Penguin and the boysssss. (where I accidentally mistook a Man who wanted to dine as one of the waitors. BOO!) Wanted to catch a movie but no more slots so we headed to Minds, and spent TWO whole freaking hours playing Saboteur. Omg. Hahaha. 

I still feel undigested, and the email about the NZ trip left an awfully awkward bittersweet feeling. It wasn't excitement, but more of uncertainty. It almost felt as though I didn't wanna go. :(

Sorry for the mindless entry, I am feeling really lazy.

PS: Happy Blessed Christmas. (:

Merry, Merry.

Thank God for the rain (though it freaking soaked my laundry, boohoohooo)

cos training is cancelled and we get to SLEEP IN!

So damn tired I am going back to bed after this post.

Though it's Christmas eve and we should be partying but I'm still so tired I can sleepwalk.

(Like  every other day. Hahahaha)

Do Or Die, Swim Or Sink.

For the first time in my Touch Career,

I (daringly) threw a freaking tantrum in the midst of the game and removed myself from play/pitch for a while.

Whoa, Phil. You're going insane.

Swooning.

Chuck Bass

&

Edward Cullen

=

the sex.

The Future Scares Me.

Before you even know it, we are already past Mid-dec! :(

6 days to Christmas; that's less than a week.

That means....

14 days to Iv.p,

17 days to restart of school,

and 27 days to NZNZNZNZ.

EVERYTHING IS LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY.

And for a some peculiar reason, I feel extremely nostalgic tonight.

(No it's different from being emotional)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMY!

Wheehee!

Virtual postcard from Switz from the Bestie.

LOTSAAA LOVE AND COME BACK SOON!

Let's Play Pretend.

pretend that nothing happened,

as always.

"Do You Wanna Be A Quitter? Or Someone Who Stays"

One week ago,

Tuesday; we had pizza and macdonalds and htht after training til two in the morning,

with our shorts and underwear soaked from icedips. Then we lugged the huge green bin back all the way from CanA.

Wednesday; Yanyi crashed IS training (it was fun though!), then we starved while waiting for the Bff and Spacemedic0016 (haha) and had lunch at 3. Then my stomach/digestive system threw a tantrum (diarrhoea) and the rest of the body screamed for rest. Decided to give training a miss (despite the coin flipping's decision to not skip) and slept. Woke up with a fever and found myself in deep shit. But then again, I didn't quite care.

Thursday; 

the cousins/aunts were back from cruiseee. Shopped a little in town before the friendly (omg the blue top from topshopt and black top from fcuk :( ) Played a pretty awesome + fun game with the boys down at Rpeeee.

Cabbed down with wet shorts/underwear/shirt/skins (totally freezing!) to Laopasat and had only chicken wings and squid for dinner. =( Then headed back to Ritz for the rest of the night and baby-fashion-show-watched til we felt sleepy and Shanniee stayed over! :D

Friday; woke up to Macs, headed down to Full.erton, then more shopping, more babysitting, more Macs and lotsa Starbucks. S came later with a surprise (skins!!) and he took over the babysitting (or baby carrying in this sense). And we bumped into lotsa people: "secret daughters?".

Haha. Had some Mega Seafood Feast for dinner but it wasn't as yummy as it looked. PSP-ed like mad the whole night with lotsa A.pe Academy challenging. Then we said our final goodbyes(:

Saturday; slept in, caught S's game (awesome game!), tossed in bed til late :\

Sunday; wet, wet, wet, cold. Prayed for rain, and training to be cancelled. Got the first, didn't get the second. Boohoo =(

Then I watched Love Actually til I couldn't stop crying (haha)

-----------

This week,

Monday; caught the Bestie for breakf before she left for Europeeee, that lucky girl. I love you, Seeef! :D Then met Pong, and we ate til we popped (though we shared a meal and didn't intend to binge at all). Then, the very screwed up friendly.

Then D, as usual, ohsonicely cabbed down to check up on me(: And we did what we used to always do, but haven't done in a really long time. ;) Thanks for everything, as always, Love.

I love you, Ding! :D

Tuesday; CP meeting at Starbucks. We're almost done, and I hope we don't need to meet on Thurs anymore :D Caught the very last quarter of Basketball IH, then trained with a new area taped up.

"That's new. What happened?"

"Uh, I don't know, It just hurts."

--

Coach and I had a very good talk after training, together with J and A.

"It is just how much you want it."

She gave me the green light to make my own decision and assured me not to think/worry too much.

But I am still indecisive.

We ordered Macs (again :( ) to Fifteen and ate at the lounge, with aircon (hence freezing with our shorts &underwear wet again..), television, and a mini htht.

When you can't find strength from within, you draw it from others.

"It's only three more weeks, Phil."

+

Love Actually.

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE YO!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

THANKEWBERYMUCHIE! I LOVE YOU!

Life Is NEVER Fair.

Grown ups amuse me sometimes,

with all that talk about maturity, sensibility.

I think it's all bull shit.

We are only human, and we are all the same.

It's been quite a while since I last felt this way,

it's no stranger, but more than familiar.

It's like a repetition, a reminder.

It is a norm, to always do things we like,

things we enjoy,

hence giving us the additional motivation, the additional drive.

With passion, it's a step closer to excellence.

But when passion gets twisted with something else,

it takes you one step further.

I know I'm being semi childish, semi spiteful,

but with unappreciation and the feeling of being disposable,

why would you act on something?

What's worse, you dread it.

You FUCKING dread it.

If we're so dispensable, go ahead and act on what was said.

Maybe it doesn't matter as much as it did initially,

maybe it is not something I strived for initially,

maybe along the way, I lost sight of the vision I wanted to head towards.

She told me, "the road is tough, but don't give up!"

It is not an unlit cave where we are treading dangerous paths, nor where the end is blinded.

It is merely a treacherous route, two routes to take til you reach the end.

And almost always, it is these situations that leave us rooted, afraid to take the next step.

This is where, I lose focus of what I want.

Where I stumble and fall, yet have to pick myself up.

I do not have 500% to give every week.

----------------------------

When I heard loud knocks on my door this morning,

I knew nothing good would come out from the rest of the day.

And I'm sick for real, 

fucking believe it or not.

Leave The Lights On For Me.

Training today was intense,

post-training was INSANE.

Just got back and showered,

absolutely tired, and need to be up in another 6 hours.

But we had alot alot of fun.

A little too much but this is what keeps us going, player/la la dui/team manager.

Ps: New I.vp fixtures! Good news: we have a day break. Bad news: We start earlier.

Sucks.

Sweet And Low.

Absence makes the heart fonder.

Last week felt much more like Holidays for real,

despite rushing from place to place quite a bit,

it was sufficiently filled with post-exam to dos: 

Movies (Four Christmases, Bolt), satisfying cravings (Soup spoon, Chompchomp!), 

catch ups, supper, (window) shopping, birthday (Sk's 22nd at Mac).

Unfortunately, more touch and trainings than anything.

School trainings, Youth trainings, Friendlies, Fitness test(s).

One more month.

My legs are becoming big til my skins feel like they're gonna tear. ):

A typical Sunday;

A pint of ice cream and movies on the lappy/teevee, and lazing around.

Apple pie from Is.landCreamery((((:

And Monday, preoccupied with Puzzle Fight.er, more movies, more lazing around.

Another week of trainings/friendlies but there's my S.s to look forward to. Sarah Sherilyn Shan. ((((((((((((:

But of course, that's if all else doesn't fail.

All good things come to an end.

The Battle With The Internal Struggle.

Today, I

• got a new wallet! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee
• got S a new wallet! Wheeeeeeeeeee (but my mommy paid for both)
• cut my hair! 
• dyed my hair!
• got a new retainers case!
• was praised for being dilligent with my retainers
• was told I can stop wearing my retainers 24hours daily
• sucked at training :(
• had Ichi.ban again after training
• am alone with hall while everyone else is in Malaysia/home/camp. :(
• am happy but I miss S. :(

The Last Goodnight

I built us this boat so we both could sail far, far away
It sprung a leak inside the captain forgot to say
"That love is made of treading water and hearts of clay"
I had no idea, I had no idea, that we would die today

I will fall asleep here in your arms
Every breath that you take breaks my heart

Twist In My Story.

Post exams haven't been as exciting as I'd have thought they'd be.
Then again, it has been a little bit more unexpected than I had imagined it to.

Basically had a Fucked up Friday (no more Freaky Friday curses though),
blood stained (not literally) and tear stained.
Suddenly felt like I was in a different world, with friends who are strangers,
and people putting on a facade. Felt scared, (and maybe threatened), deceived, betrayed.
It's horrible and I'm still not over it.

Training was so bad (for me), I was effectively the weakest link. And we had a Fitness Test. Terrible, just so bad.
And I concluded I've a retarded left hand. :(

Then we rushed down to Tim.bre where I had almost an entire glass of Er.dinger spilled across the table, drenching myself and my phone.

By the time I reached home, I was dead beat but I couldn't sleep so I made D talk to me. =(


Youth Fundraising tourney on Sat! Teams pulled out last minute and the sun was super hot now I'm burnt (even with the application of Sunblock)
Played and ref-ed consecutive games. Even played the novelty games. (Ok, but the 3v3 drop off was fun!!!) I'm super tired from the consecutive trainings/games that I wore my skins to sleep. HA HA HA.
And the abrasions from the incorrect diving are insanely painful (not forgetting fugly).
BUT, if any consolation, for the first time I tried to dive touch! (Then again, I touched her after she placed the ball down)

(Oh ya and I forgot to bring socks. Argh.)


Thank goodness training today is optional so I'm spared the extra agility/fitness work and get a break before another 4 consecutive days of training.

But this is all in preparation for the coming month.
And I'm gonna need icedips forever. HAHAHA


Happy holidays! Don't forget subject registration on 5th dec.
XOXO

Me.

Was supposed to fill up a players' profile last night,

but was too lazy to do it myself.

So I got D to do it,

and this is the funniest part:

SOME THING WE DON’T KNOW ABOUT YOU: RETAINERS, I am extraordinary. I don’t play mahjong, I love sponge bob? I cant see if u are waving at me from a distance cause I don’t usually wear a spec.

HAHAHAHA.

Jp for dinner after training. Suuuushiiii! :D

We stayed til closing until a cockroach chased us out. :S

And I almost died during training last night.

Hope I won't later.

(:

FINALLY

Officially stepping down as a student,

and resuming my position as a full time touch player.

Here's to a month of lotsa grass, mud, girls, and odd shaped balls.

Happy holidays!

FOUR MORE HOURS.

CANNOT WAIT. :D

FOURTEEN HOURS.

Missed the finals, couldn't even go down to watch.

And apparently there was dramamamama. (Plus a very exciting sudden death)

PS: We lost, btw. :(

Dinner was funfunfun(: We got so carried away, we forgot the time.

Whooops.

Anyhow, I can finally change my desktop wall paper tmr! (:

And finally catch up on Heroes/GG and watch Madagascar with Skalex the Lion. (:

PS: No deeveecee next week. :( No kids. :( No camp. :( No mooolah. :( :(

TWENTY FOUR HOURS.

Not going to play.

Not permitting myself to play.

Talked to A and W and even flipped a coin.

Same conclusion,

Shouldn't doubt my initial decision to start with.

.

.

.

.

How do you look me in the eye,

and tell me you're the same.

I feel disposable.

TWENTY EIGHT MORE HOURS.

This morning I woke up to the Bestie freaking out on MSN,

awake at 6AM.

Hang in there Seef!! It will all be over, it's just one more week! Sends my hug from Boonlay ok!

-----------------------

One more day one more day!!!!!!!!

Last night seemed deliberately planned.

I had phone call after phone call that lasted for hours.

I didn't study much, but it's ok. That gives me a reason to be more productive today (if I can find my discipline and focus cos I'm really REALLY restless)

And a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors over the phone concluded my absence from tonight's N.tl finals.

Otherwise I'd be cursed with a bigger butt cheek than the other (!!!!! HORROR)

But anyway, I think they'd win.. ((:

Your Eyes.

They say our eyes are the window to our soul.......

.

.

.

.

.

.

I haven't studied since the previous post, I'm basically screwing myself up. =(

No NTL finals at this rate.

Naughty Phil.

Sweeeeet.

"Smells like Ice Lemon Tea."

"Huh! Give me back, I want to smell."

----

"Oh, it's the perfume la."

"Hmm, it smells like Ice Lemon Tea!"

I'm so restless I think I'm gonna play NTL Finals tmr. 

*

This is where we both get scared
This is where emotion flares
This is where we both prepare

The Wrong Pair Of Lock And Key.

Walking back to hall past midnight could be scary,

with the darkness, the cold air, and the solitary,

but there's always something to take that away.

And it's company.

"you're extraordinary."

Hahahahahaha.

Bedtime after showering cos Philoos is having gastric, because she skipped dinner.

Hr, if you see this. Fatty fatty hugs, you will pull through.

Cos we all love you.

Touchtouchtouch.

With that said,

please pick your post exam dates accordingly! :D

(Ntouch) TRAINING DATES

Nov 27 & 28

Dec 1, 2 (mental skills), 3, 4, 9 (PESS), 11, 10 (Friendly with S.as, 7pm), 15, 16 (PESS), 17 (PESS), 18 (NUS boys friendly), 22 (morning), 24 (morning)

Plus every Wed night/ Sun morning is out for Youth training too.

Boohoo, train my life away.

Almost There.

I always believed in working for what we want.

Simple: You want good grades, you work hard towards it.

If you've failed to be a part of a process, you don't deserve to be in the result.

If you barely contributed to a project, you don't deserve the grades.

If you barely helped someone in time of need, you don't deserve theirs in your time of need.

If you were barely there during the exam-period, you don't deserve post-exam time.

Am I making sense?

-------------------------------

Second last paper today,

2 and a half days of insane cramming for the last module (which I trulymadlydeeply abhor).

And just a few hours short of 100 to freedom.

I can already smell it.

heureux

you aNd i,

we're made for Each other.

jUst like how the pieces of jigsaw,

Fit perfectly together.

---

mois.

~everything in monochrome.

URGH

Verbal vomit.

Tomorrow will just be the case of verbal vomit.

And I hope I vomit the right things to the right question.

BRAIN CRAMP, SERIOUSLY. =(

The Damage Gives You Hell

Sunburnt, Hurting left leg (after getting knee-ed),

A little less flabby, headache,

Aching, superdupertired.

A morning/early afternoon in the sun and I'm back to black. (Well, somewhat.)

And omfg, my second platypus burst!

All thanks to Al. Boo, I hate you for now. >=(

I barely studied today. Forget about playing N.tl finals =(

PS: Omg, mac for dinner again. It is satanic.

----------------

Yesterday:

A last minute decision to head home was changed, 

Lamian XLB at JayPee for dinner, and ice cream, ice cream! :D

THEY ARE OPENING A STARBUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FINALLY! Something to love about the West. :D

I know I should quit whining.

d to the i to the s to the a to the p-p-o-i-n-t-e-d.

to the highest degree.

why so stupid! boo. =(

i am dreading sunday and subsequently monday.

boohoohoooo.

i am craving for soup spoon but it's never gonna be satisfied.

just when i thought it could. how! someone buy it back to school for me. =(

+

Ever had brain cramp?

I think I'm having brain cramp. =(

Word of wisdom/ 211108: Do not listen to The Used while studying. You end up with your own rock party.

I want to be done with exams too, I don't want to study anymore =(

This exam period feels so long.

And before I am even over with this semester, I already know the dates of my examinations next Sem. 15-30th April 2009. Whatever it is, THANK GOD FOR NO DOUBLE PAPERS!

No more MC, I promise!!

January 2009.

OHAMGEE! Iveepee fixtures are OUT!

Give Me Something.

I wanted to go to bed, to avoid the disappointment.

I even drew out something, I had wanted to send.

But I decided to wait.

Like you always told me, "have faith", be hopeful.

But I guess it's just another mistake.

I have defeated my purpose of battling the fatigue.

I, am the real fool.

But of course, "there's nothing to be upset about."

Do not worry, for I am not.

Goodnight, and here's to a better sleep than the one I had before.

Losing My Way.

Today I learnt a new equation:

. + , = ;

Happily ever after. Hurhurhur.

"Where Is Your Humour?"

a lover's alibi says :
im waiting for my teammates

they coming soon
bernnaard. love story. says :
i see

wad kind of movie is that?

a lover's alibi says :
??????????????????????????

bernnaard. love story. says :
hahah
normally only movie put coming soon ma
lol

a lover's alibi says :
HURHUR HUR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Pemo, don't emo!"

I fucked my paper so so soo sooooo bad today, I cannot even explain the extent of how bad I fucked it up.

Didn't finish and basically just didn't know how to do.

And even my answer to the easiest question is wrong wrong wrong! Sigh.

And W had to offer the best encouragement ever,

"If you know how to do 2b and 3 then ok. If you don't know then die alr."

ARGH.

Anyhow, I came back to this:

Can't really see but it's already uploaded so I'm lazy to delete it.

(My mom added me on Facebook)

Say something against me but do it yourself to me.

Everyday With Every Word, We Get So Far Away.

It's almost like we're back to these days. Half a sem ago, it was Computing, etc which we thought were tough enough.

This sem, the attack of the modules is wayyy worse. =(

Yes, year 2 is shit tough, and I am not looking forward to Sem2 :( 

(Can't wait for 27th Nov though! HEEHEE)

Oh yeah and omg, we got distracted with Facewarp today!!!!

Anyhow, we ended up confusing each other, (more of W confusing me actually),

and I wrote so much til my fingers and hand hurts so bad now..... =(

On the other hand, once tomorrow comes, the rest of the exam period will fly by! (:

PS: Need. to. do. my. Powerstep! >=(

PPS: Will not care so much anymore. =]

If The Choice Was Ours Alone.

Yesterday over revision,
we digressed from studies to touch,
and got distracted.
=(

---------


Seems like We've lost it. All.

Doesn't Mean That We're Not Falling Just Cos We Haven't Hit The Ground

Guess what I got today?

(plus a box of Strawberry Meltykisses! :D )

What's more exciting is what I gave in exchange .....

[Edit]

Hahaha. (:

Severed Hearts.

Because G says my blog has no pictures.

(:

Black Forest from Purple Rose!

Some random day I found my giraffe looking at me like that.

Gummies gummies! :DWe don't have this in Sg right? It beats Party Animals hands down. Muahaha. I finished it in one night. (And got scolded for being selfish ha ha ha )

The Spongebob lanyard! :D

PS: Have I told you about my Havais jelly that makes me want to eat them too? :D

Your Own Disaster.

"Stop touching so much"

**

I'm so so so excited for the post exams but the process towards the end is going to be a horrible horrible one. I always find myself in a position of a complete lack of motivation and total disregard to the importance of the excellence in this meritocratic world. (Recall J2 years)

Shit aside, been having a pretty awesome weekend so far. Though not as study-intensive as I'd thought or liked it to be, but in the time span of 2, 3 days, I can safely say.. I've made up for the months of absence. ((((:

And we also learnt that Six degrees of separation was more than enough to connect people together. Sometimes, we just need TWO.

And I've also realised that I lost my boundaries. Or maybe I never really had them.

No one ever set the rules to distinguish black and white, identify truth from wrong.

It has been about perception all along.

Nobody taught us the definitions, we learnt from observations, from understandings, from experience.

There's a fine line between Love and Hate,

And I have misplaced it. (Maybe once again)

------------------------------

PS: Omg, my daddy just gave me a spongebob lanyard! :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ZIPOK! =D

This Morning,

I woke up and I couldn't find you.

To Write Love On Her Arms.

(Click.)

=

3 words, 8 letters: Iloveyou.

Ihateyou.

Convince Me.

The room smells sour.

Not sure if it's the result of our body scent mixed,

or if it represents the lingering memory of you/us.

Or if it simply is just my emotions transformed.

Maybe because the sense of smell will do me better than that of touch.

;

So she was right,

when she said it was just habitual. They have just been so used to having each other around that the thought of losing the other scares them.

But this may not necessarily represent Love.

Where do you draw the line, then?

Find Your Own Space, Find Your Own Pace.

I've recently found a new form of destress; biting S. Do away with your stress balls, and paper crushing/ripped, biting someone really helps.

Training today:
Almost everyone came in colour codes; Red & White.
Hence we had a black sheep, aka Ek. (:
EK: "I thought maybe we celebrating some Touch Independence Day."
And 60% of us were in the EXACT SAME shirt. Coolio molio.
Plus we had baby dinosaurs for carbo reloading today :D


---------------------------------------

Independence.
To me, it's not a choice to be made, but rather something that needs to be driven.
Just like flying. It's not something that can be done just because you decide to, but it has to be driven, in this case, taught.

Likewise, Independence is driven. Parents who want their child (once again, it is not a decision made by the child himself) to be independent drive them into becoming so. Doing their own laundry, washing their own dishes, even the simple travelling to school on their own.

No matter how determined you are, a driving force is still needed for the completion of that decision. And Independence is one example.
I'm not pointing fingers, just illustrating that this is a reflection of more than the individual herself.

---------------------------------

50:27, a long phonecall with the (ex)roomie

Be Still, My Heart.

When we forget the little things,
could it be that we've taken things for granted?

Or are we taking things for granted,
hence forgetting the little things?

.
.
.
.
.

Good night.

Like A Punctuation Pt.

Saturday was awesome, though damn tired would be an understatement. I guess I can say it was fulfilling.
We got on the field, a week later, with the same familiar faces, but with a different heart.
We were ready, and we knew the results wouldn't matter.

With awesome hard runs and an exclusive touch down, we played our hearts out, ran til we couldn't breathe, but we had fun. Somehow, without winning in mind but the determination and discipline still securely in place, a different sort of game plan surfaces. Maybe a little less hungry for scores, but still awesome. It's been a long time I ran this hard, and had my 1 litre platypus dry. =)

Was asked for a favour after the game, and somehow felt obliged to assist. With that little bit of energy left, I reffed another 40 minute game immediately after mine. =( Tired shiate, but it was somehow something honourable.

Went home black, burnt, and burnt-out so I slept the midafternoon away again, before dinner at Novena with the Sister and S.
ManU/Arsenal was, on the contrary, a disappointment to a fulfilling Saturday.
But an early night wrapped it up anyhow.

Friday;
after a half an hour tutorial, an hour brunch break with Calamari rings that made my tongue feel funny the whole day, we left for HollandV. Treated ourselves with Purple Rose's cake (indulgence! :D) and popped by a party shop for a Helium Balloon before leaving for Aranda.

So surreal; I remembered Birthdays, and Post O levels. Time passed with Space Chimps, catching ups, people watching (familiar faces, haha), closet maternal instincts, and eventually, multiple strolls along beautiful Down.town East (it has changed soo much!) and a trip to the arcade. Felt so much like the after-exams. =(


-----------------------

Now, it's the exam week, exam period.
27th November, 3pm. COME SOOOON.
I Can't Wait For The Holidays Esp CHRISTMAS! :D


PS: OH! The apricotjelly Ha.vaianas are back! They look a little pink though, but chewy and they make me wanna eat them :D Can't wait for the metal ones to be backkk! :D

Less Yet More.

He who is big, yet soft.
He who is strong, yet weak.

He who carries the weight of the world upon his shoulders.
He who always thrusts his two arms wide open.
Not to receive, but to give.

He who never completes his sentence lately,

He whose words hang loose at the tip of his tongue.
He who knows guesses every word you don't speak,
but hides each he doesn't.

*

" Your freezing speech bubbles
Seem to hold your words aloft
I want the smoky clouds of laughter
To swim about me forever more "

It's all for you.

--------------------------

Happy Birthday! But You Weren't There.

Today, we studied til the sun shades were lowered and risen again.

Today, we; like ants among human, gymed until we ache.

Today, we made plans to celebrate a birthday but the lead didn't turn up.

Today, she told me to suck it up, and get through it. Because I won't regret it.

Today, we let our hair loose and danced to music we didn't understand and beats we couldn't catch.

"It's all about the rhythm", she says.

Today, we hung our dirty laundry in the public.

Well then again, not really.

Today, we allowed our imagination to take us beyond two simple words, "Banana Marathon".

Today, you asked if I love you less.

Crack The Shutters.

You cool your bedwarm hands down
on the broken radiator

And when you lay them freezing on me
I mumble can you wake me later

But I don't really want you to stop
And you know it so it doesn't stop you

You run your hands from my neck
To my chest

Crack the shutters open wide
I want to bathe you in the light of day

And just watch you as the rays
Tangle up around your face and body

I could sit for hours
Finding new ways to be awed each minute

Cause the daylight seems to want you
Just as much as I want you

It's been minutes it's been days
It's been all I will remember

Happy lost in your hair
And the cold side of the pillow

Your hills and valleys
Are mapped by my intrepid fingers

And in a naked slumber
I dream all this again

""

"with you i always feel like i have to be something u choose , like its always some competition"

Tonight, we drink to Youth.

potlickticks

Another module kissed goodbye with my last report for the term submitted just now..

Slowly, a 5-day week becomes 2-day;

the time during lessons we used to think crawl now sprints,

your shorts feel a little tighter around the waist area.....

Yeah, you know what it means.

Finally, the sense of urgency fills you like that of a dripping tap to an empty water bottle; the process slow and tedious, but as you reach the top, it quickens. 

--------------------------

Poor S popped his shoulder today, and played his heart for, what he feels, might be nothing. =(

I hope good news comes along soon to prove him (maybe us,) wrong.

PS: Still craving for something salty, like really salty.

I Smell Like You.

Finally today, we could throw the notes, rip our cue cards, and sell our HWtwo-one-oh textbooks.

With our oral presentation, we have wrapped up this non-examinable-yet-still-took-up-shitload-of-time-2au-module.

We were pleased when we saw the grade(s) and positive comments on the cover of our Final Report, congratulating one another for breaking free from the Cplus grade the previous semester. Yet, our grades were only mediocre. Ultimately, I guess mediocre beats falling short of expectations anytime, right?

---------------------

Had my first campus run tonight. Felt like I spent more time/energy talking but my legs are aching and I hope it's a good thing. =)

Hello November.

This photo is super hilarious ((((:

But for now, I am going to take a nap. (Have a hunch I'd sleep til dinner time though)

No explanation for the fatigue. Maybe it's just the sleep-conducive weather.

I hate November.