My Fourth Finger REALLY Hurts.

I've been writing til my fingers hurt really badly,

til they feel swollen actually.

Like my dear friend says, "sleep less";

tonight is the last chance I choose revision over sleep.

Which I shall do.

(I need it anyway(: )

I'm hungry though.

The Final One.

Upon dismissal, everyone screamed and shouted, cheered and rejoiced.

Except me.

I didn't need a premature celebration, neither do I want it.

In fact, I barely deserve it.

One last paper tomorrow, which is a dire consequence of my ill-discipline last sem.

About 22 more hours to liberation; I don't know which to feel. Anticipation? Or intimidation?

22 hours more also indicates 20 hours max left for revision (excluding the deduction of SLEEP)

Just a few days ago, I was lectured for allowing myself the luxury of sufficient sleep despite the never-ending work to be scanned into my ohsominute brain. I tried sleeping less, it didn't work out as well as I'd thought. 

Anyhoo, thank you all who have been extremely encouraging(: For your text(s) to keep me going. It has been really sweet, and motivating.

I don't always believe in second chances, but this is my second chance.

I'm not going to screw it up again. (:

Pn junction, solar cells, semiconductors, Fermi levels; HERE I COMEEEE! :D

Meanwhile, enjoy liberation the rest of you. (:

We decided to give Skalex a shirt I could no longer wear. (:

Boys Are Smelly!

PS: Ding, I tried the white Kinder B.ueno already! AWESOME!!!!!!! :D Haha. I'm never gonna eat the normal one anymore(:

"Tension-type" headaches, or tension headaches, are the most common type of headache. About 30% to 80% of adults occasionally experience this kind of headache. Tension headaches are more common among women than men. These headaches are sometimes called stress headaches, muscle contraction headaches, daily headaches, or chronic non-progressive headaches.

Tension headaches are usually triggered by some type of environmental or internal stress. The most common sources of stress include family, social relationships, friends, work and school.

Features of tension headaches may include:

• Headache upon awakening
• General muscle aches
• Difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep
• Chronic fatigue
• Irritability
• Disturbed concentration
• Mild sensitivity to light or noise
• Occasional dizziness

Saving Grace.

Can I please have the next 24 hours x 3 of your time?

Tension Headaches.

I am honestly getting out of hand,

yesterday I screamed at two people ; one didn't hold it against me, and one didn't take it as well.

Honestly, I know it's no excuse. I have no better justifications.

But I'm crumbling and my safety net has broken.

I hate falling asleep, cos I can't. I have a huge load on my mind. I try to cast it down, I take it to the Lord.

Then I hate waking up. To reality. It hits me so hard. Mentally.

If only it were physical then I could pass out and have bigger excuses.

How's It Gonna Be?

And that was the longest eleven minutes in my life.

You always wanted to be this, be that.

You were never satisfied with second best; you had to be The One.

The One in control, The number One, The One who makes the final decisions.

And I let you be.

Did it need that long?

The more I think about it, the more upset I get.

(Even though I prepared myself for it)

Shall distract myself with some vacancies and Burger's vector,

of course I have better things to worry/be bothered about. =(((((((

I Am So Tired Of Studying.

I have lost track of time,

like a spaceman walking on moon- how the effect of gravity is less and everything seems to feel slower.......

Today we got distracted by games on Black Beauty(: (Awww)

My friend, WtheWonderboy said playing too much Topple sucked his brainjuice dry so he put an abrupt and advanced end to his day.

He also told us a joke,  which he laughed two times harder than we did after he said the answer:

"Which is the most dangerous city?"

--"Electric."

(5 seconds of silence)

--"Electric- city! HAHAHAHAHA x1000"

We probably also top the list for Library-Rebels since we do everything we shouldn't : Eat, Talk (real) loudly -subconsciously or not, have our handphones (not!) in silent mode, blasting music from whichever electronic device (accidentally, I swear!!).

But anyhoo, we sat beside really nice people today who gave ForgetfulFavier foolscap paper(:

PS: Black Beauty is the Ipod touch. And in case you were wondering, NO. It isn't meant to have any unintended relation to the owner.

.

Yesterday,

ONLY 2 out of the 8 questions that I spotted came out in a 9-choose-5 question examination.

Hence, I effectively spent wasted 4 days on a module that didn't test me on what I studied,

and now I don't have enough time for the remaining papers.

FML?

To top it up, I'm barely halfway through my examination period (4 more papers)

and (almost) everybody has ended/is beginning to end.

DOUBLE FML?

FOUR MORE (CORE) PAPERS.

TRIPLE FML.

-

"Mind over body", a soldier despite equipped with the most advanced weapons

will not conquer without a brave heart, a determined mind.

Go for battle half heartedly, prepared but reluctant,

you have 100% but you give 50.

Defeat is just behind you. Stop and it will consume you.

This is how marathoners normally plan their race: Eat well, Sleep well, Hydrate well before the race.

Keep pacing someone, don't give everything in the beginning so you won't fail to complete the race.

The end is so near yet so far. But did you miss the water point? The food point?

I am the soldier.

This is my war.

I am the marathon runner.

This is my race.

#2

HRM

valuestrategyeffectivenesscommunication

creativityleadershipinnovation

humanresourceperformanceappraisal

"You look better when you're happy."

one word to describe myself best currently:

di⋅shev⋅eled

    [di-shev-uhld]  Show IPA

–adjective

1.	hanging loosely or in disorder; unkempt: disheveled hair.

2.	untidy; disarranged: a disheveled appearance.

dictionary.com

Now?

The weekend passed like pseudo post-exams,

Friday with Family,

Saturday playing Touch and supper with Bao,

Sunday spent at church, shopping, airport slacking and watching soccer.

It also felt somewhat like a celebration, where we treated ourselves to good food; Mac Breakfast, Kenny Rogers, Sushi, Kickass prawn noodles, Supper at T.ongshui, X.in wang .....  .

The sun on Saturday was mega hot, so hot I had goosebumps. Weird, cos it has never happened before and I thought they'd only appear when I'm extremely cold.

We won 8-7, not too convincing a win, but one nonetheless. Grazed my knees and nearly evaporated under the heat. =(

Then an impromptu supper retreat, which led to lotsa screaming in the car (which isn't uncommon). It was a good catch up, a good break from revision, a good source of comfort- that old times never die. 

Sunday, travelled to about two places to get a watch with a heart rate monitor. When we finally found it, turns out they didn't have the strap, so we got another (which in my opinion, is probably only third or fourth best ) Studied for about two hours or so before we headed East to Bedok, an hour early. Aiport for dinner, and supposedly study, but the plane landed early and dinner took longer than expected no thanks to poor service. 

Stayed up to watch M.anU lose. >=( Even though they fielded a really young team, I thought they'd still pull through. We went into penalties and lost. YOU KNOW WHY? Cos VANDERSAR didn't play. =) Still think Welbeck sucks btw.

Mommy sent us back to hall after lunch today(: Yay to a spare car for two weeks! :D I tried starting to shift out and unknowingly packed two (huggee) bags worth of clothes but my wardrobe still looks the same.

PS: The touch is home, still sealed, and hidden in a corner under my table.

(NO GPANG you are not going to open it for me(: )

PPS: 2 people walked past and commented how shag/stressed/qiao cui I look, another via webcam, and another over dinner. This is not a good sign. =(

+

I promise to study harder. :(

Not There Yet. Not Even Near.

This is getting harder,

and I'm losing ground.

Mental Toughness.

And I have been unproductive for effectively more than twenty four hours now.

All I think about is sleep and touch tomorrow.

----------------

"I have full faith you will reach my expectations if you just take a breather and not worry too much."

And that, I shall.

Nano

I know a place that we've forgotten

A place we won't get caught in

They won't know who we are 

I know a place where we can hide out

And turn our hearts inside out

They won't know who we are

To Save The Brightest One. For You.

***

Today in Summary:

#1 Practice does not make perfect.

#2 What you see is (not) what you get. Sometimes.

#3 Solitary IS company.

#4 The truth sometimes cannot be seen, but must be felt.

Ready, Get Set, Thermo.

.

And they did it again.

Over lunch.

Extra marks!!! :( You guys made me damn sad for one day :(

I'm seriously beginning to believe I am gullible. =(

Honestly,

I feel extremely shortchanged right now.

Fix My Feet When I Stumble.

Truth be told,

I'm secretly excited for tomorrow.

Not that I'm 100% confident for the thermo paper,

but I guess I like the idea that I'm finally getting started with EXAMS.

Though it means time's gonna fly, I'm running outta time for revision,

but it also means IT'S ENDING. MY IPOD TOUCH IS COMING HOME. And of course, HOLIDAYS!!!

Just need to get through this week, I'm gonna have an exciting weekend(: 

I already know it, and I'm looking forward to it. (:

Then get through the fucking Materials paper (IRONICALLY, this is my course. So it's probably like my corest core module which I understand nothing).

Then it's the final week (unfortunately also the toughest week; 3 papers in 4 days!)

Random question,

If you are above Average, does that mean you're A grade?

PS: I have the worst friends ever by the way. Yesterday, one was trying so hard to convince me 'r' stands for 'the first term', but it actually means 'ratio'. And last night, two tried extra harder to convince me the paper tomorrow is semi-open book. Argh, too tired to be mindfucked. Haha

Still love you all by the way.  (Except you, fff!)

Pause.

"Today, I was cuddling with the guy I like. I looked into his eyes and said, "Your eyes are so blue, like the ocean." He replied by saying, "Your eyes are so brown... like my shit". FML"

[[source]]

Favourite of the day. (:

My knees are aching from the campus run earlier :(

Agape.

There is no Love greater than that of God's.

This weekend, He reminded us of the meaning of that 4-lettered word.

A word we learnt since young, in our children's rhyme, from our parents/grandparents.

And the simplest form, yet the one most difficult to achieve is that of Self-sacrifice.

From John 3:16, we know, He has sacrificed The Best for us. And with that, there is nothing else God won't do for us, because He loves us.

How do You define Love?

In 1 Cor 13:4-7; the boundaries have been drawn.

I know I keep quoting these verses, but it serves as a reminder. Maybe to myself.

It is patient, and it is not proud.

We are taught to love our neighbours as ourselves, to love your enemy.

So how do we Love?

--------------------------------------------

Thursday; lunch at HollandV with Mrsdarcy and Wei'an,

followed by a series of quick shopping for the patient, and a (unintended sinful) food visit down to Crabby's. We tried to talk happy stuff/silly stuff and distract her from her discomfort and pain. I dare say to us, happyfood always works best(: + helium balloons! Nothing is as happy as helium balloons(: We got a H.arry Potter one  since she already had every other Get-well-soon balloon that caught our eye. The other two made a few phone calls to check the spelling of EXPELLIARMUS which we finally did, thanks to Wei'an(:

We had desserts from Da Paolo (supermothereffingkickassawesome!), the new kinder surprise, her Ahgong bought us Icecream from the Icecream man (old school but love it!) and we had more sugar rush from reminiscing the trigger happy JC days. 

Dinner with Dxxx where we over ate, then shopped a little for destress(: Hah.

Thanks for telling me my nonexistent bicepped arms are huge. I love you very much. ROAR.

Friday: Church- A solemn, solemn Good Friday.

Yet, why is this Good Friday good? (For you to answer yourself)

Studied studied cried studied cried cried studied studied. :(

Saturday: The Bestie had me over so we could study together while not being in an airconditioned place (fluuu!) We had the clock resounding every hour, counting down to the bare hours left to my paper (she only starts much later!) and being fed by Y.fei + Dennis. They made ice cream (cookies&cream + Hazelnut) and durian puffs; so we just ate. And after dinner we had tangyuans too. Basically we just ate while studying. FATSSS. But it was happiness(:

So O/A levels. (:

Sunday; 8am service!! Went home to nap before meeting Penguin & PresAw(:

We came back to school earlier than I expected, later than they scheduled (heehee), dinnered, attempted studying and fantasized more business plans: UNITUT !?, Shared (un)funny jokes, shot each other weird stares everytime our phones rang....... OK UNPRODUCTIVE.

And we had supper. (:

----------------------------------

It's not in me to force His word unto my friends, but I hope all of you had your share of God's grace, God's love this weekend(:

Because I did(:

THERMO IN TWO DAYS! :(

I'm A Dried Strawberry.

I'm literally dying.

In every aspect. Academically, physically, emotionally, mentally.

I keep building up defences for self-protection but eventually I have to tear them down with my own bare hands. 

ARGH. Why can't things take a different turn?

HI BESTIE, if you see this. Thanks for your silent company(:

Good Joke, Sonny.

/.-. says (4:19 PM):
*hahaha 

but gotta study and do at the same time wait u see me in IMH

the end is where I begin. says (4:20 PM):
*hahaha
*i think i must go soon
*fucking stressed

/.-. says (4:21 PM):
*haahahaha yay we can be toilet mates

What Hurts The Most.

My friend(s) say I look like a strawberry (cos of my hair :( ),

and maybe now I really am one sad/red/miserable/spotted/sour strawberry. 

:(

Life is miserable.

The flu bug seems to like me alot, no amount of Cold relief/ Flu Max is helping.

This sucks.

My world is spinning, literally.

So fast it has spun out of control. Yet I'm digging my own grave. Fuck.

And last night, Dxxx just had to tell me my arms are big. :(

Arggh.

NOTE TO SELF: DO NOT PLAY JAM LEGEND! (Heeheehee)

....

Is this the moment where I look you in the eye? 

Forgive my broken promise that you'll never see me cry 

And everything, it will surely change even if i tell you i won't go away today 

Will you think that you're all alone 

When no one`s there to hold your hand? 

And all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary, rest your head

Goodnight.

It feels like 6am in the morning already.

And oddly, I like early early mornings; the smell, the colour, the feeling, the air,

and last but not least, the idea that it's a brand new day, a brand new chance.

Oh, My Little Fat Thumb.

My salon pas has lao-honged.

And I've run out of them.

Talk Is Not Cheap. It's Free, I forgot.

Two CAs this week down,

that leaves one on Wednesday,

and exams in less than 10 days now. (8 days!)

Anyhoo, with the CA over, it's also one module down(:

The test, however was bad. Despite already SUing it, the way the boys talk about it scares me.

Choy.

I've a receeding gum line,

and yesterday S dropped my retainers case and now it's broken and can't close... >=(

Talk Is Cheap.

THIS IS SUPPOSED TO MEAN THAT I'M ALREADY READY FOR EXAMS BUT HELL NO.

This weekend was very different from the last.

Last week, I rushed off class to H.omeTeam NS where the staff was ultimately unfriendly. Basically we made a wasted trip down, and now we the cheif programmers are in deep shit cos we have no accomodation for F.OC. =(

And like any other Saturday, I played touch, fell asleep, woke in time for dinner, ice cream treat & movie with S. We caught ... Shopaholic, which I thought was better than expected. Coincidentally bumped into my sister at the theatre so we had a lift home!

Sunday was spent with the dear ex-roomie, for just 1.5hours to celebrate her transition of a kid to an older kid. Haha. 21 or 12, you'll still be a kid to me! Heh.

And yes, it was a nice 1.5 hours. Short but enough(:

This week: Sushi buffet til 6-ish then supper at Prata house til 1-ish.

And (once again) like any other Saturday I played touch, sat under an umbrella to watch touch, was at turf while it was damn hot til it rained til it got sunny again, iced my thumb, waited half an hr for Mr. PresidentAw, watched S play for G.uinness against the Natnl team boys with PresAw, chomped for dinner, and studied (wow finally(: )

Today, was caught in the heavyheavy rain but decided to get drenched cos we were freaking hungry(: Spent the afternoon with Penguin. It's becoming a typical Sunday for us, and I kinda like it(:

Basically after sprained my thumb thrice in a week: Saturday, Tuesday, Saturday, it has finally swollen and hurts big time. It's bloodclotted and hurts when I try to move it (therefore hurts when I write too) HENCE I have skipped Sunday training (again). Hah, I'm never gonna go for training until exams are over. =\

PS: I still want to chop my hair.

PPS: I feel like sleeping already but I have two CAs tomorrow, of which I haven't started one.

"You're my angel in spongebob form."

Today,

or rather Yesterday,

I WENT TO SCHOOL WITHOUT MY SPECS.

How smart of me.

Ohyes, and we accidentally burst out laughing when our dear tutor went "Jiggle Pah!" again today.

Heehee.

Plus, gymed til my legs and shoulders are aching (knees still hurt from Burpees yesterday)

And skype is funfunfun(:

Finish What You Started.

We came up with ingenious plans to prank teammate(s), and our coach,

got all excited about it,

but in the end, THE WEATHER PRANKED US.

Fucken rain that lasted through the afternoon :( 

We trained indoors but carried on with the prank (on Coach), and she was too focused on WTF happened to our training gear that she didn't notice everyone turn our backs to her and giggling away. Anyhoo, she was pissed x1000000 at our irresponsibility and "kept her eyes on the bag" cos she couldn't believe it.

(Ok, we took out ALLL our touch balls and replaced them with 1 basketball, 1 volleyball and 2 small spongey rugby balls)

I was a walking evidence of F = ma and P = F/A yesterday at training.

Large m contributes to large Force which results in High Pressure as the Area of my thumb is small small small. :( Painful. 

Oh, had Macs strawberry oreo mcflurry today. It was awesome! Like a strawberry sundae + oreo mcflurry. :D Yums. Thank you! :D