Fallen From Grace.

These scars we wear remind us
The more we change
The more we're all the same
Swept up in this emotion
We fumble through
and make the same
mistakes
Cause' we are led
To the edge

Carry me down
Roll it in your arms
Cause' I can't remember
Ever falling this hard

******

It has been quite a while since I hit this space.

I just had dinner with a 9 year old at the dinner table a few hours back. Watching her eat reminded me (and my mom) very largely of myself about a decade ago.

How I like my rice wet and my potatoes smashed; how I liked it when Mommy cut up chicken and pork chunks so I don't have difficulty chewing.

This 9 year old and I are not related, neither have we known each other for long. But we're close. She sleeps on my bed, hugs my elmo, wears my tshirts (which becomes dresses), tags along for my meeting and meetup, holds my hand when we're out, shares our favourites and secrets when we lie in the beds next to each other.

And I love her to bits(:

Been supercraving for durian/durian puffs lately all thanks to PrezAw.

Made S drive all the way to J.oochiat to get some which fell short of expectations (which were built upon the reviews). We were then enticed by the BKT which resulted in us getting a parking ticket... >=(

Today after a terrible friendly, we met KWANJIELING who is back from Indon for (less than) a week. =) It was just the usual 6 of us; whom I've missed much. But it was good time together. Felt no different from a sem ago where we gathered for CNY steamboat reunion/welcome Phil back from NZ/ HTHT dinner. As usual, we spent lotsa money on food, food and more food. A little bit on shopping, and forgot to take many pictures. But it was good happy time. Topped up the Happy juice. (: Yay.

Back to work tomorrow. =(

State of Transience.

Today I learnt that when you're craving for chocolates, grab a Peanut Butter+Banana smoothie instead.

When you're craving for fries, grab some pretzels and drink more water.

When you're craving for cookies, grab a mini pizza.

Unfortunately, 2/3 of the above listed to me, are irreplaceable.

And the only 1/3 left was what I craved for last night.

Like life, there is always the next best substitute.

But are you willing to compromise its satisfaction for something else?

I am willing to compromise the fats/sugar guilt on my chocolate for its satisfaction and sugar high. So to me, chocolates are irreplaceable. There are those who dig it, those who ditch it.

PS: Back online after a (unintentional) hiatus of 5, 6 days!

PPS: Back in school and training's cancelled for the WEEK! =(

I know I should quit whining.

d to the i to the s to the a to the p-p-o-i-n-t-e-d.

to the highest degree.

why so stupid! boo. =(

i am dreading sunday and subsequently monday.

boohoohoooo.

i am craving for soup spoon but it's never gonna be satisfied.

just when i thought it could. how! someone buy it back to school for me. =(

Pixels From Last Week.

Thursday,

friendly with my juniors back at the block C shitty field. Played like crap, felt like crap, team dinner was crap.

Friday,

no photos from CG Retreat. Had a fun night Saboteur-ing, Citadels-ing, For Sale-ing, watched an inspirational 20min clip about a baby who survived a car crash incident (no, not Harry Potter) and despite being 80% burnt, carried on with his life and even got married.Saturday, Yanns' birthday, of which plans just kept changing. Heh, but glad we still met my dear. (:The seeded Marathon runner. (Click to enlarge picture and check out number tag)Monday,

Trojan to Tequila! Half of the GLs this coming camp.

Tuesday,

Caught Indiana Jones at Vivo while attempting to shop during the Gss! Argh but no, didn't get anything. Mistook a mouthguard for retainers (Thought my Nantuki ? Nectar drink corroded my 500$$$ plastic mouth piece) and ended up spoiling the 25$$ mouthguard. Heh.

Yesterday,

Balestiered for BKT :D and Udder-ed for Ice Cream after the friendly without Team, but with Ahgong and Fellow Eight. Udder's alcoholic ice cream is, as it suggests, PREMIUM man! :D

I am currently craving for: the cookies from The Cookie Room (? Is it? I can't remember the name of the shop) at Esplanade, and durianssssssssssssssssssss.
But must wait for some people to recover from their sorethroat/flu/cough/whatnot first. =(

So here's how I spent my day in the end:

Kway chap brunch, collection of Goodie Bag stuff, Harry Pottered for an hour while rolling around the cold floor, forced myself to sleep while soaked in fits of cold sweat, "so fucking miserable", chicken mushroom pie + warm soya bean milk.

Incompetence Vs Inconsistency.

Would you rather be placed among the best, but be the worst there?
Or be the best amongst the not-as-good?

Incompetence or Inconsistency?
These are my questions for the day.

I've been thinking about self-confidence, compared to team confidence.
I've been thinking about my performance, and the team's result.
I question myself if I'd rather be put in Situation A or Situation B.

I remember her saying, "Picture a red flag and tell yourself to stop the negative self talk."
It rings in my head,
but I cannot control.


I thought my biggest mistake today was dialing your number,
but I guess the biggest mistake today was you not picking up my call.


I want to eat Ben & Jerry's. =((

Time check: 2038

I'm supposed to have left hall/school for CG retreat at Toa-fucking-Payoh.
Now I'm back in hall to get stuff, send emails.
My Susu Berperisa Coklat SUCKSS, it tastes weird,
I'm dying from gastric, I feel miserable: MY LIFE SUCKZZZZZZZ.

Meeting today was WEIRD. We were terrorised by a little kid (some Hall Fellow's son) screaming " I CAN HEAR YOU! I CAN SEE YOU! " just outside the window who had verbal war with Weixin.

Then we had some random foreign student intruding (!!!) into our meeting:
Stranger: "I... am... stranger. I.. want... to.. know.. what.. you.. are.. doing.."
Us: "HUHHHHHHHHHHH?"
Mak: "Uh, (in chinese) we can speak chinese"
Stranger: "(in chinese+slang) I saw you guys from outside and I just wanted to come in to see what you're doing."
Us: "(in chinese with no slang) we're having a meeting?"
*Stranger leaves*

_l_

I AM SO ANGSTY.
I'm having SECONDTHIRDFOURTHFIFTH thoughts about retreat. Sigh.

Okay shit, I must have forgotten.
New Year Resolution: CURSE LESS CURSE LESS.
I AM NOT CRUDE BUT DEMURE.
Today, my fellow sports secretaries DIRECTORS were shocked that I'm a Touch Rugger cos apparently, to them, I am GENTLE.
OMFG this must be the most hilarious thing to most of my friends.


I'm so depressed,
I still want my Starbucks Coffee =((((

"BUAY ZAI", She Said.

W&D this Christmas gift made me hallucinate about donuts.

HAHAA, I KNOW.

***

Training today was bad, BAD. The team I was on, though with only 2 seniors, got thrashed 5-1 by the other team. Holy, we were screamed at big time and were given second, third, fourth, 249703740 chances for tryline attacking to score but we simply never did.

Oh my, oh my, if this doesn't call for a panic attack, I don't know what else will.

Anyhows, friendly with the aS-Pee boys on Friday, aka last session to prove my worth before Coach makes the final cut. Hmm, hmm, HMMM.

It didn't rain today, give thanks for the great weather! =D

Our hockey girls put up an extremely good fight today against Eleven.

After a 10-1-10 game, we went into 3 Penalty flicks,

and 5 sudden deaths.

It was soo nervewrecking and exciting, I channeled my energy to spur the players on,

"GO RAEANNE!" was the catchphrase of the night. (She's the Goalie)

Unfortunately, we lost. (So, dear Roomie, you don't get to play!)

But to us, we won. (So cheesy) We put up a good fight and had more game play than usual.

Well done, Thirteen!

Melz came by inbetween the matches, "MOS DELIVERYYY!"

+ my orange "cheer-me-up" gift and Christmas gift.

THANKS MEL(((((((:

So that makes dinner = Mos apple pie + Mos strawberry milkshake + dumpling soup.

Mos apple pie = (Damn) HAPPY FOOD =D

I STILL WANT MY STARBUCKS!

CRAVING CRAVINGGGGGG.

I'm chairing meeting tonight, woohooo! Don't need to walk to faraway hallone! YAY =D

All ways

You know what would really make me very happy now?



Cheesecake cafe's strawberry oreo cheesecake,
and Auntie Anne's Cinnamon Sugar pretzel.


Yeah, good morning anyway.
Today is dooms day,
the ONLY day I have my mids,
the day with 3 (almost) consecutive papers.