I Don't Know

how I manage to incubate my thoughts sometimes.

Emotions are common; they are not exclusive to each individual. While one is hurting, another far away could be feeling the same, possibly worst.

How is it that the motion of life, albeit separate, can be so largely similar?

I've been incubating thoughts and actions for years that I've always feared to act on, to shout it out loud.

In all honesty, I don't believe I am there yet. Baby steps that take years to progress...

Been out from sports for a month now. I've never been more patient than I am today, and I have no idea how I braced this month.

In fact, I don't really remember how everything happened - the chronology, the pain, the ordeal, the emotions.

I just want to get by, get past, and forget.

Nostalgia: derived from a Greek word meaning "returning home" and a Homeric word, "pain/ache".

With memories comes an aching pain, a longing for what once happened.

A delusion. An illusion of happiness.

Every bead that trickles down my face, represents a regret.

With each drop, it adds to a collection of apologies, of sincere "sorry"s I can never make up to yous.

Nostalgia. A longing for the past however, often in idealized form.

Tonight, I am alone but I sleep with the ghost of my past.

Eco-Friendly.

A couple of awesome awesome pictures from today:

Happy 20th Birthday too, Crabby! (:

Nature walks; our favourite. I even dressed up for the occasion. Heh.
Anyway, the place we found is a beauty, I'm absolutely in love with it.
Serene and breathtaking, we both hope it doesn't become some home for the homeless, or be overrated soon. We need more places like this. (:

We spent a day in the sun, watch it set from over our heads to below the horizon.
We shared about the past 20 years, or rather the transition of a 9teen year old to hitting the legendary TWO-OH. About how God has been so so sooo good to us, and how things always happen for a reason.
We tried picturing ourselves 20 years later, it's a long way to go, but we'd be there one day, someday.

"Being twenty just feels like you've come so far, yet not really........"

_________________________

Kha for dinner, nice place, awesome ambience, damn good (thai) food.
Cannot wait for the picnic, and the plans we have in store for the coming months.

Been slightly mindfucked lately, and I cannot seem to decide what's best for myself.
Going away for camp with a particular Secondary School from 3-5July. Hope it'd be an awesome first camp after pulling a year of disappearing act. And to the Teacher-in-training, please be strong........


I've yet to cut my hair. =(

Like A Shoebox Of Photographs.

Just got hit by a sudden wave of nostalgia and had to rummage through boxes and boxes of memories. Then I just had to come online or I wouldn't be in peace.


What would you do, if you found a box of bittersweet memories chucked in a neglected corner? Would you open it, then throw it away?
Open it, then keep it again in the same corner?
Or leave it where it is.


We keep the happy memories, cos those are what keep us going,
we keep the unhappy too; is it because we want to remember our scars? Or the lessons learnt?

****


Anyhooo, Phil is still sick and she skipped Service today.
Please slap her, next week NO EXCUSE.
And we celebrated Angie's birthday today;

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BFFF.
Thanks for your XOXOs.
A birthday girl's kiss is always the sweeetest. ;)



PS: Men without women are totally useless, right? Especially husbands and sons whose wife/mom has gone overseas without them. GRRRR.
PPS: Mom's coming home tomorrow night. =D

Intoxicated.

W: "Why do people say 'rock my socks' ?"
P: "Uhh.. Because it rhymes?"
W: "But I always read it as 'rock my cock'. "
P: "Ok los, then next time you can type 'XXX rock my cock' on your msn okay?"

--

W: "So are you coming to send me off?"
J: "Errr, I don't song(4) ni(3) fei ji (aeroplane), I fang(4) ni(3) fei ji (aeroplane) ok?"

--


Canvassing today was a "nightmare come true". (quoteunquote Junx)
The only good times to take of it were: Sitting by the playground enjoying our Cornetto, entertainment moments from W, and supper at Holland V.

Things feel slightly different, we cannot deny the changes around us.
I may have resumed a seat I've long missed, but the position I assume is no longer the same.
It's not that I want things to be like the past, I think I'm everyone's happier the way things are now.

We're somewhat excited for the coming FOC. It's gonna be huge.
Well, not literally as in the number of people. But the events.
SP Night at Powerhouse! Can you imagine? (((:
+ 2 free drinks and lots and lots of beer thanks to sponsors.
PLUSSSS, it's gonna be open to public after Ninethirty.
Wild, wild, wild.
We'll live up to our reputation of wild; From Trojan to Tequila. (:

(Almost) Half A Year Ago,

When I have a sudden influx of entries,

I'm either too bored from studying, or very stressed =(((

So anyway, while I was slacking my ass off for the past 3 hours,

I was looking through my old photos and found these!

We can tahan the weight of the books! Come on, come on!

Even Heroes Have The Right To Bleed

(Photo credited to the Roomie; props also credited to her. Cubes say, "Phi" aka the first three alphabets in my name since we only have 3 cubes. And the flower, a random doodle from her)


---


Realised that it's been a weekly affair here, I sloth in the same place every weekend. Eat (too much), then study, and sleep, wake up late (or early, then get angsty due to lack of sleep).

I'm really thankful for this, supposed loong weekend, cos I get to catch up on
1) school work
2) rest!!
3) spiritual wellbeing, especially with it being Good Friday/Easter Sunday and all. (:


Basically, it's been one of those I'm-too-busy-to-blog-but-actually-I-have-alot-of-things-to-talk-about periods, and I wish I gave myself more time to piece my words every time I log in.

I need to get done over the weekend,
a) 2 reflection papers,
b) a 3-min speech (+++lotsa personal reflections),
c) physics tutorial 7? or is it 8?,
d) 101 computing lectures (hah!)


And amidst all these craze, sometimes it's good to be in denial for a mini short while.
Yesterday, FFF and I found ourselves getting lost in the CBD. We were mixing up our lefts and rights, walking forwards to go backwards cos we were heading in the wrong direction. We walked down memory lane (SO CHEESY but really true!!), and bumped into familliar people.

My shoulders are aching like crap from my disgustingly heavy bag today,
and I fear tomorrow's training after (almost) a week off from touch.....



P.S: It still kinda feels surreal.

TUES/THURS

As much as I've been complaining,

I knew I'd miss it,

miss the shit, miss the exhaustion,

miss the fun,

miss the people.

AND I LOVE QQ.

Catch the Last Flight Out.

One thing I really like about packing my room is the nostalgia;
all the lecture notes & tutorials (school),
little scribbles on them like, "Don't be stressed phil, cheer up!" from Z, + a biiiiggg smiley face spread across the page, or Lesbo's "Phil, I'm damn sleepy",
random slips of paper like the blue one L wrote me, "love, your handsome, tall, dark, boyfriend",
letters from Crabby dating all the way back to 2005,
the "backstab" paper from HouseCamp 05, and Lshit anonymously wrote, "don't smile so much later face kena cramp."

I'm still in the midst of it, so I'll probably find more stuff later! (:

{edit @ 1646}

I've always believed that a fine line separates Love/Hate.

But I guess before you hit the Hate stage, you'll have to first pass the one with Love,

And sometimes no matter how hard we've grown against each other,

deep down there's still the unspoken, invisible, Love chucked away in a dusty corner..

{/edit}

--

"As much as I miss school, I don't want Uni to start."
--Jien

My sentiments exactly,
cos THIS simply freaks me out, big time. (Read the tagboard)

PS: I remembered one more joke from J,
"If you eat corn to be corny, what do you eat to be horny and funny?"
(hor fun)

PPS: ANYBODY WANTS MY TYS/NOTES/PAST YR PAPERS?
(If I've already promised to give them to you, please remind me!)

PPPS: The Used has a new album!

{edit @ 1908}

IM DONE. PHEW

{/edit}

Nostalgia is SO not Emo.

I passed by Malan today,
and everything looked different.
But over that short 15 seconds (maybe?),
memories of what happened where
zooooooooooomed past together with the bus.
The Orientation days in the Hall,
the dreadful steep walk up to LT 3,
the trainings at the field that went so late into the night that we couldn't even see our fingers, what more the ball,
the cafe and its oh-so-wonderful view,
the gallery with words, S-A-I-N-T-S stuck across and paintings that are now white washed,
.
.
.
.
and, I got reminded:

To the person in the picture (if you even see this),
where did you go?

---

On a completely misjointed note:
- I freaking knocked a pole down at Parallel today. I believe in Karma and my instructor is tmd sadistic.

- I survived a 1hr bus journey with wind (+DUST) in my hair/face from Eunos to Harbourfront. Applaud me please.

- I WANT to be 50$ poorer on Monday. WANT.
I seriously don't mind paying 50$ for a piece of paper that has lifetime warranty.
LIFETIME LEH, worth it okay. Though it's just a piece of paper.

- Amelia is convinced I've become a spokesperson for Materials.
(Materials SCIENCE and Engineering, not Materials Engineering, okay!)

-I liked my Friday Night. (:

twentyohseven.

I am blogging, only because I cannot contain my excitment about Channel 5 showing American Beauty now! =D Yay, I'm so excited.

But anyway, since I missed wishing everyone a jolly good Christmas,
I better do this since I only have 4 more minutes before I'm too late again.

HAPPY BLESSED TWENTY OH SEVEN EVERYONE! (:

Ps: The EZ link machine went "TI" today, instead of "ti-ti". So please don't forget to tap your card when alighting the bus(: Cos I'm pretty sure I will.

sunny singapore!

Hello Singapore,

I'm back to Sunny Island. (Well, maybe not anymore considering it has been raining so much)

I am missing the food back there already. Of course, the people too.

But I guess I miss you guys here more ):

So yeah.

Oh well, still can't believe it's the last day of 2006 already.

I'm so not ready for 2007!

It doesn't even feel like the year is ending.

And then there were...

Just last Friday, I was talking to Zong and he was telling me how it has been a year since he had his ACL op. Don't mean to sound sadistic but I really miss those days where we had lotsa random stayovers and surprise visits to cheer him up.

But ohwell, now it's my turn.

It's is such old news but,
It's been a year since I've had braces! =D
One more year to goooo.

And Zong's removing them soon already.
Everyone's taking off their braces. No more metal mouths to accompany me anymore. ):

Happy birthday, fairuz!

until you decide to say only what's true.

my love.

The same phrase I always use- A picture speaks a thousand words.
Okay la, I felt nostalgic today so I went to look through my photos/neoprints and took photo of the housecomm one cos it is absolutely hilarious okay. I'm not sure if you can see it, but there is a few with zongyzoebracey and teeliangshit.

At tuition today:
*snap*
P: OWWWWWW. Did you hear that?
Z: Yeah, what's that?
P: my rubber band. ):
L: EAT IT LA!

Okay, I blame myself for being greedy again.

HELLO SHAWNTHAMMYTHAM. THANKYOU! :D

Ps: If you love me, another box of Florida's Natural would be nice. I absolutely love it! Apple cranberry please!)

Dear Lord, I do not wish to pray for time. I need not ask for another week, another day, or another minute. I just pray for confidence, for faith, and for hope.

):

Dx is gonna be permanently closed. This sucks. There's none like dx. ):